MONDAY, Nov 28 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, November 28, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: NEW SONG – YELLOWSTONE! YELLOWSTONE! YELLOWSTONE!

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CYBER MONDAY

NATIONAL FRENCH TOAST DAY

RED PLANET DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Red Planet Day commemorates the launch of the Spacecraft Mariner 4 on November 28,1964. The 228 day mission of Mariner 4 brought the spacecraft within 6,118 miles of Mars on July 14, 1965.”

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

BOB DYLAN APOLOGIZES FOR AUTO-SIGNED BOOKS

Bob Dylan has apologized to fans following the controversy surrounding the “hand-signed” copies of his new book ‘The Philosophy of Modern Song,’ admitting he employed an autopen. He explained:
“I’ve been made aware that there’s some controversy about signatures on some of my recent artwork prints and on a limited-edition of Philosophy Of Modern Song. I’ve hand-signed each and every art print over the years, and there’s never been a problem. However, in 2019 I had a bad case of vertigo and it continued into the pandemic years. It takes a crew of five working in close quarters with me to help enable these signing sessions, and we could not find a safe and workable way to complete what I needed to do while the virus was raging. So, during the pandemic, it was impossible to sign anything and the vertigo didn’t help. With contractual deadlines looming, the idea of using an auto-pen was suggested to me, along with the assurance that this kind of thing is done ‘all the time’ in the art and literary worlds. Using a machine was an error in judgment and I want to rectify it immediately. I’m working with Simon & Schuster and my gallery partners to do just that.”
* Said the thousands of people who have bought Dylan’s art: “Uhhh…he used it on the signed prints, too???”
* On the other hand, that statement is the most coherent thing Dylan has ever said, ever ever, in his life.
* How does vertigo affect book signing? Does he sign them sitting on a ladder? Does he live in a tree house?

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday

MONDAY, Nov 28

“Southern Hospitality”
Bravo – New Reality Series
Synopsis: Follows Southern Charm resident boss-lady Leva Bonaparte as she manages Charleston’s very own “it” crowd, otherwise known as her larger-than-life staff at Republic Garden & Lounge.

Season Premieres:
ABC – “The Great Christmas Light Fight”
Acorn TV – “Whitstable Pearl”
VH1 – “VH1’s Family Reunion: Love & Hip Hop Edition”

TUESDAY, Nov 29

“My So-Called High School Rank”
HBO – New Documentary
Synopsis: Chronicles the creation of a musical theater production at Granite Bay High School in Sacramento, CA.

“Planet Sex with Cara Delevingne”
Hulu – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Model and actress Cara Delevingne explores taboos in this docuseries about pleasure.

“Casey Anthony: Where the Truth Lies”
Peacock – New Docuseries
Synopsis: The Casey Anthony case is one that still leaves more questions than answers. In this three-part documentary series, Casey Anthony finally tells her side of the story and addresses the public that has made so many assumptions for the past 13 years.

“Last Flight Home”
Paramount+ – New Documentary
Synopsis: In his final days, we discover the founder of Air Florida, Eli Timoner, and an extraordinary life of wild achievements, tragic loss and most of all, enduring love.

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “Crime Scene: The Texas Killing Fields”

WEDNESDAY, Nov 30

“Love Without Borders”
Bravo – New Reality Dating Show
Synopsis: Six Americans step blindly onto a plane to an unknown overseas destination to be paired with their “perfect” life partner.

“Willow”
Disney+ – New Fantasy Series
Synopsis: An unlikely group of heroes set off on a dangerous quest to places far beyond their home, where they must face their inner demons and come together to save their world.

“Irreverent”
Peacock – New Series
Synopsis: When a Chicago criminal messes up the heist of a lifetime, he is forced to hide out in a small reef town in Far North Queensland and pose as a church reverend.

Season Premiere:
CNBC – “Money Court”

WOMEN FOUND SMOKEY BEAR PARADE BALLOON SEXY THIS YEAR

For whatever reason, people watching the Macy’s Parade this year found the Smokey Bear giant balloon unusually sexy. The character has been part of the parade since 1944, but he got an update in 2007. As the giant floating bear floated over the streets of New York City Thursday, spectators took to social media to point out his bulging pec muscles.
– “Why is Smokey Bear ripped? And wearing skinny jeans??”
– “Why is Smokey Bear trying to look sexy?”
– “Why does Smokey Bear have pecs, I’m so uncomfortable.”
– “Smokey Bear hasn’t been missing chest day, that’s for sure.”
– “I feel like they make the Smokey Bear balloon just a little more zaddy every year. (* Quick – somebody look up the word “zaddy.”)
– Smokey Bear looks buff. I will prevent forest fires Mr. Bear. Promise.”
– “Smokey Bear is looking reaaaal good this year.”
– “Why is the Smokey Bear balloon kind of a DILF?” (* No need to look up DILF. How are we doing on ‘zaddy”?) (Note: “Zaddy: an older, sexually attractive, charismatic man.”)
* Before you get too turned on, ladies, I understand he has a problem with gas.
* They’re going to change Smokey’s slogan from “Only you can prevent forest fires” to “Where are you hot, ladies?”
* At least they passed on the idea of Smokey wearing a thong.
* You know, sexy Smokey may be old, but he was able to stay up for the whole parade.
* Now Woodsy Owl is thinking he has to start hitting the gym.

BAMBI: KILLING MACHINE

Are you ready for a movie where Bambi is a ruthless killer? Director Scott Jeffrey, who already has made “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey,” has announced plans to make “Bambi: The Reckoning,” billed as a “dark retelling” of the classic childhood cartoon. Jeffrey says that the film will reimagine Bambi as a “vicious killing machine. The film will be an incredibly dark retelling of the 1928 story we all know and love. Prepare for Bambi with rabies!” he says. The plot details are being kept under wraps. (* Probably a good thing.) Meanwhile, Disney is reportedly developing their own live-action remake of “Bambi,” like they did with “The Lion King” and “The Jungle Book.”
* What in the world was this guy’s childhood like?
* They should call it The Forest Chainsaw Massacre.
* Well, it can’t be any worse than the reimagining of Santa in “Violent Night.” No – literally. It can’t be any worse.
* I hope, at some point in the movie, Bambi gets revenge against Godzilla. (Bambi Meets Godzilla, 1969. YouTube it.)
* Coming next: “Goldilocks: Loaded for Bear.”

U.S. NEWSWOMAN SETS BOYFRIEND’S HOUSE ON FIRE OVER WACKY MISUNDERSTANDING

In San Antonio, Texas, a woman set her boyfriend’s house on fire after another woman answered his phone while they were talking on FaceTime. On November 20, around 1:45 in the morning, 23-year-old Senaida Soto broke in, set the man’s couch on fire, and stole several items. But she was wrong about one thing – the woman who answered his phone during their FaceTime call turned out to be his relative. (* So THAT’S how it is in their family!) The flames from the couch spread to the rest of the home, and the fire ultimately caused more than $50,000 worth of damage. While the house was on fire, Soto reportedly texted her boyfriend to say: “I hope your house is okay.”
* But wouldn’t you want a girlfriend who’s that devoted to you? Boy, I would.
* She’s carrying a torch for him. And she’s not afraid to use it.
* At least the guy didn’t have to answer the “So when are you getting married?” question at Thanksgiving.
* By the way, the guy has one leftover turkey dinner, if anyone needs it.
* “Firestarter 2: The Bitch is Back.”
* This story brought to you by First Alert Smoke Detectors.

WOMAN GIVES BIRTH IN MCDONALD’S

A woman who stopped at McDonald’s to use the bathroom while on the way to the hospital to give birth ended up having her baby at the restaurant with the help of employees and her fiancé. Alandria Worthy was having contractions about a minute and a half apart last Wednesday morning as her fiancé, Deandre Phillips, was rushing her to the hospital. But they stopped at a McDonald’s because Worth had to use the bathroom. “Her water broke immediately,” Worthy said. The McDonald’s general manager, Tunisia Woodward, came to Worthy’s aid, saw what was happening, then told her crew, “We’re having a baby today.” Less than 15 minutes later, their daughter, Nandi Ariyah Moremi Phillips, was born in the McDonald’s bathroom. The employees who helped deliver Nandi nicknamed her McDonald’s Little Nugget.
* I would have gone with Small Fry.
* I didn’t know McDonald’s had delivery.
* There go six weeks of Lamaze classes down the drain.
* I hope somebody said, “Would you like this to go?”
* Unfortunately, the only thing they had to clean up the mess was about 10,000 of those little white napkins.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

DOUBLE TROUBLE: TOURISTS HAVE A NICE FALL

1. A tourist in Bali survived falling off a cliff while doing a backflip. The man was at a popular tourist destination called Broken Bay on Nusa Penida, posing for photos at the edge of the cliff, when he started doing backflips, missed, and landed on the sand about 120 feet below. Waves lapped at him as he writhed on the beach grabbing his leg. Rescuers were hindered by the dangerous terrain surrounding the cliff. They also attempted to reach the man by boat but were blocked by waves. Finally, one rescuer was able to drop down from the cliffside and get him on a stretcher, which was then pulled up. The man was taken to hospital suffering serious leg and arm injuries.
* The lapping waves were a nice touch, like when Wiley Coyote’s smashed on the bottom of the canyon and the squeaky wheel on his roller skate is still spinning.
* Then the stinging jellyfish attacked.
2. A man fell off a Carnival Cruise ship last Wednesday. The unidentified 28-year-old man was having drinks with his sister at a bar on the ship around 11pm Wednesday night and excused himself to use the restroom. He did not return to the bar, nor did her return to his room. His sister reported him missing around noon the next day, on Thanksgiving. After hours of searching the ship and retracing the route of the ship, the man was spotted in the ocean by another vessel. A US Coast Guard helicopter rescue crew pulled him out of the ocean. He was flown to New Orleans for treatment and is in stable condition, and the cruise ship continued on to Cozumel, Mexico.
* She waited 13 hours to report him missing? So you’re pretty close to your brother, are you?
* Do you get the feeling he tried to pee off the side of the ship?
* “I don’t care if the water IS cold – I am NOT dancing in another conga line!!”
* These resorts and vacation companies need to have their guests sign a waiver saying they understand how gravity works.

FRENCHMAN LEGALLY ALLOWED TO BE BORING AT WORK

A Frenchman has won the right to be boring at work after he was fired for not going out with colleagues. The company, called Cubik Partners, stresses “team building,” which mostly means forcing employees to go out for drinks together after work. One employee – simply named “Mr. T” in the lawsuit – refused to go along with the group. He was fired on the grounds of “professional inadequacy” in 2015, accused of, basically, being boring. Mr T argued in court he was entitled to refuse company policy based on “incitement to partake in various excesses.” Last week, a court agreed with him, and ordered the company to pay Mr. T 2500 euros.
* The “T” must stand for “tedious.”
* He took the money and bought a case of champagne to celebrate, but he doesn’t have anybody to drink it with.
* On the other side of the spectrum, another worker was fired for being the worst karaoke singer at the company.
* If being boring at work is now legal precedent, Ben Affleck has the right to continue acting in movies.
* To avoid future boring workers, the employment application will now include a talent competition.

2,500 NAKED PEOPLE POSE FOR PICTURE

Some 2,500 Australians took off their clothes on Saturday to pose for photographic artist Spencer Tunick at Sydney’s Bondi Beach in an effort to raise awareness about skin cancer. Tunick is known for staging mass nude photo shoots at world landmarks. He used a megaphone to direct attendees into several poses on the beach. Afterwards, many took a naked swim in the ocean.
* And yet when I ask people to take their clothes off for a picture, they always call the cops.
* Naked to spotlight skin cancer. That’s like doing a firewalk to raise awareness about foot burns.
* Never have so many people been hanging out hanging out.
* The worst part? 2500 naked people bending over to pick up their clothes.

TRENDING

NICOLE KIDMAN BUYS HUGH JACKMAN’S “MUSIC MAN” HAT FOR $100,000

Nicole Kidman shocked audience members Saturday night with a surprise visit to Broadway’s “The Music Man”, starring Hugh Jackman. There was an auction after the show for the autographed straw hat Jackman wears in the closing number. Kidman bid $100,000 for the hat, causing the audience to go wild with delight at the actress’s appearance. Kidman’s donation will go to Broadway Cares/ Equity Fights AIDS, a nonprofit organization that helps provide medications, health care, nutritious meals, counseling and emergency financial assistance to people across the United States. Jackman later wrote oin a post, “The generosity and love emanating from Nicole leaves me speechless. Thank you Nic for your friendship and support!”

JOHN LEGEND ALMOST HAS PORSCHE STOLEN, BUT DIDN’T

John Legend almost had his Porsche stolen. The Porsche was parked outside a Los Angeles recording studio last Monday afternoon while Legend was inside recording. Security at the recording studio watched on surveillance cams as a man walked up to the vehicle, opened the door and hopped in. He sat in the car, looking for the keys or another way of starting the car. Security called the cops and then went out to confront him. They asked what he was doing, and the guy allegedly claimed it was his Porsche. He then got out and started walking. Then cops pulled up and he took off running. After a brief foot chase, police took him into custody.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: November 23-27 (Five-day totals)

1. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever – $64 million
2. Strange World – $18.6 million
3. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery – $13.3
4. Devotion – $9 million
5. The Menu – $7.3 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Wednesday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:48 p.m. EST
Dec. 25, Sunday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Saturday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Sunday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Bryshere Gray (actor-rapper, “Empire”) … 29
Jon Stewart (comedian, TV host) … 60
Matt Cameron (drummer with Pearl Jam, Soundgarden) … 60
Judd Nelson (actor) … 63
Ed Harris (actor, “Westworld”) … 72
Paul Shaffer (musician, former bandleader on “The Late Show with David Letterman”) … 73
Randy Newman (singer/songwriter) … 79

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board.”

(A) Joe Rogan
(B) Bill Maher
(C) Jon Stewart

ANSWER: (C) Jon Stewart

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2008 – New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in the right thigh with a gun tucked into his waistband at a New York City nightclub.
* That’s not much of a night out – leaving the bar after just one shot.

1995 – President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that ended the 55 mph speed limit.
* Which motorists had ended years before anyway.

1948 – The first ever Polaroid instant cameras went on sale in Boston, MA.
* And, inside of a minute, we had the first ever instant photo of someone “mooning” out a car window.

1922 – The first skywriting took place as British Captain Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force spelled out “Hello USA” over New York’s Times Square.
* The weird part was when he finished his message with “S.W.A.K.”

1895 – The first auto race was held with the winner traveling at a blistering speed of 7 1/2 miles per hour.
* Which is now about how fast we move during rush hour.

1776 – Washington crossed the Delaware.
* It was a difficult trip because of the freezing cold – plus they had to stop the boat and pose for that famous painting.

1520 – The Portuguese explorer Magellan discovered, and named, the Pacific Ocean.
* These days, it would be named “The AT&T Ocean,” or “The VISA Ocean,” or “The Lexus Ocean” …

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – “Hamilton” set a new record for most money earned in a week on Broadway – $3.3 million.

2006 – Actress Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from rapper Kid Rock after four months of marriage.

1990 – In L.A., law enforcement officials announced that there was not enough evidence to prosecute Axl Rose for assaulting his neighbor with a wine bottle.

1979 – Paul Simon filed two lawsuits against his record label in attempt to leave them.

1979 – The original members of Kiss performed their last show together until 1996 when they reunited.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

Note: These questions and answers apply to the working world and workplaces BEFORE Covid.

1. 33% of people surveyed said they’ve done THIS at work. What is it?
Illegally downloaded music

2. 33% of workers surveyed said they’ve done THIS at work. What is it?
Taken a nap

3. 25% of employees surveyed said they do THIS at work even though it could be considered inappropriate. What is it?
They take their shoes off

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