MONDAY, Apr 3 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, April 3, 2023
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TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

DON’T GO TO WORK UNLESS IT’S FUN DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Don’t Go to Work Unless it’s Fun Day might be your day to sleep in. If this day falls on a Saturday or Sunday when you are normally off of work, it’s an easy day to participate in. Otherwise, make sure you get your boss’ approval prior to participating. Wouldn’t it be nice to wake up in the morning and decide whether you will go to work? If it is going to be fun at work, you get up and go. Otherwise, you turn over and go back to sleep.
Employer Tip: To increase attendance today, we suggest you consider things that will make it fun to go to work. Like the promise of a paycheck, benefits … Warning: We strongly suggest that anyone thinking of not going into work, clears it with their boss first! Special and bizarre days are fun to participate in. But, not at the risk of losing your job.”

FIND A RAINBOW DAY

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE MOUSSE DAY

PONY EXPRESS DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“The Pony Express existed for 18 months between the days of April 3, 1860 to October 1861. In these days there was no air mail, no great American Highway, all there was was hundreds of miles of wide open spaces with not much in between but animal filled wilderness and bandito filled hollows. During this time, if you wanted to send a letter or small package from anywhere East past the gateway of St. Joseph, Missouri, there was only one way to go. The Pony Express was a massive employer for it’s time, with up to 80 young riders employed at any given stage, with stringent requirements on their age, size, and weight.
The Pony Express preferred to employ the youngest riders they could, in part for their resilience, and in part for how light they were. The lighter a man was the longer the horse could run and the more cargo the rider could carry, and since the horses were put to go full tilt for 10 to 15 miles at a stretch before changing, this was of vital importance. The rider changed out every 75 to 100 miles, but the mail never so much as slowed even in the worst of weather. While the average trip from coast to coast (on horseback!) took 10 days, when they delivered Lincoln’s Inaugural Address, the trip was made in a mere 7 days and 17 hours.”

TWEED DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Tweed Day celebrates one of two things. Either it celebrates the warm, fashionable woolen clothing that originated in Scotland: Seemingly always in fashion, Tweed keeps you warm and looks good, too. It should come as no surprise to learn that tweed is more popular in the north, and not often worn in the south. Or, it celebrates the birthday of a corrupt New York City politician, William Magear “Boss” Tweed, who was born on April 3, 1823. Boss Tweed was a U.S. Senator and a NY State Senator. His claim to fame was being convicted of graft and corruption for stealing millions of dollars from NYC. Our problem with this theory is why a special day for a convicted crook!? We ‘d like to believe that Tweed Day celebrates Tweed suits. Conversely, do we really want to celebrate the birth date of a crook??? We’ll let you make the call. Wearing something tweed from your wardrobe is an absolute must today. But better still, buy a new tweed outfit and wear it today.”

WORLD PARTY DAY
From various sources:
World Party Day, also known as P Day, is based on the idea that peace is not the opposite of war, merely its absence. The real opposite of war is party(ing), and World Party Day aims to synchronize a massive, world-wide party to celebrate everything that’s good and optimistic. The inspiration for World Party Day comes from the novel “Flight: A Quantum Fiction Novel”, by Vanna Bonta published in 1995, which concludes with a synchronized worldwide celebration that occurs on April 3, 2000. The first World Party Day was held in 1996, the year after the novel’s publication. “Pass the food and turn up the music” is a common slogan on World Party Day, but it doesn’t really matter how you celebrate, or even whether you celebrate alone or in company. The premise is that everyone in the world is joined in partying, so you can really do anything you like as long as it involves celebrating the joy of existence.

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

MONDAY, Apr 3

“Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields”
Hulu – New Documentary
Synopsis: Two-part look at the actress’s life.

“Race to Survive Alaska”
USA – New Race/Survival Reality Show
Synopsis: Follows adventure racers and survival experts as they endure more than 100 miles of inhospitable terrain with nothing but what they can carry, to claim a $500,000 prize.

Season Premieres:
Acorn TV – “Brokenwood Mysteries”
The Roku CHannel – “Martha Cooks”

WEDNESDAY, Apr 5

“The Good Mothers”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis: Follows a trio of women in the Calabrian ‘Ndrangheta mafia who work with a new female attorney to bring the crime family down from the inside.

“Hullraisers”
IFC – New Series
Synopsis: British sitcom that follows the lives of struggling actress and mother Toni, her older sister Paula, along with family friend and police officer Rana, set in the town of Kingston-upon-Hull.

Season Premieres:
Discovery – “Growing Belushi”
FXX – “Dave”
TLC – “Dr. Pimple Popper”

THE BUZZ

INSUFFERABLE EMAIL PHRASES, AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

Does your workplace use emails to communicate? An internet person asked people for “The most insufferable work email phrases.” Here is how people responded.
– “Per my last email” – (Can’t you read, moron?)
– “I’m sorry, I think my email probably wasn’t clear. – (You are illiterate.)
– “A few things” – (The ways in which you have messed up are so vast, I need to make a list.)
– “I don’t recall if I told you” – (I think I forgot to have you do something that I’m going to get in trouble for.)
– “Just circling back on this” – (Just give me a direct answer, jerk face.)
– “Thanks for looping me in” – (You should’ve come to me 27 emails ago and I would’ve saved you 26 emails.)
– “Has the policy changed recently?” – (I know the policy, and maybe you should try reading it.)
– “In the future, please correspond directly with so-and-so on this issue.” – (I’m not getting paid enough to deal with people like you.)
– “We’ve got a team working on it and we’re waiting for a response” – (We’re not working on it.)
– “I hope this helps!” – (Never ask me for anything ever again.)
– “Thank you for your feedback!” – (I’m ignoring it.)
– “Warmest regards” – (I hate your guts.)
* I hate all those people and I don’t even know who they are.
* Email – the first refuge of passive-aggressives everywhere.
* The most insufferable email phrase I don’t like getting? “…so you should probably get tested.”
* You know what I hate? Anyone who puts a quote at the bottom of their emails. “The tree contains not the only branch in the forest.” What the hell?

U.S. NEWS

FORKLIFT JOYRIDE

A man took a forklift for a joyride last Tuesday in downtown Portland, Oregon. Police say Jeffrey Zelinski, 30, stole the forklift from the 6th floor of a parking garage and rode out onto the sidewalk, where he chased a pedestrian across the street all the while laughing “maniacally.” According to witnesses, Zelinski drove into oncoming traffic, and at pedestrians. He yelled, “I literally stole this!” over and over while smiling. When a police unit responded, the forklift made a U-turn, Zelinski lowered the forks from chest to ground level, and began driving toward the officer. The officer positioned the patrol car in front of the forklift waiting for a collision, but Zelinksi stopped in front of the vehicle. He then gave the officer an expired driver’s license and casually mentioned there might be a federal warrant for his arrest.
* And the officer said, “Oh, please – what a load!”
* It’s going to be tough to make a case with that amount of flimsy evidence.
* Poor guy. He’s probably seen a lot of ups and downs, and now he’s hit the skids.
* The hardest part was driving the forklift down the stairs from the 6th floor.
* If you’re gonna leave the keys in your forklift, you deserve what happens.
* Sorry, Zelinksi, fun’s over. It’s back to running Ukraine for you.

MAN’S HOME HAS BEEN HIT BY CARS 17 TIMES

A Milwaukee, Wisconsin man has moved out of his home because too many cars have crashed into it. Junious Merriweather’s house at 76th and Stark is currently considered uninhabitable after a car slammed into it in 2021. The house is currently under repair. But there was also a deadly crash outside his home in 2019, when a car slammed into Merriweather’s yard and the windshield blew out and slammed into the front door. And in 2020, a car crashed outside the home. Also in 2021, a car hit his house and his porch. (* No, the house isn’t built on top of a giant magnet. It’s ering, the house is located in the middle of a curve, following a long stretch of straightaway, where cars usually speed.) Seventeen times in seven years Merriweather has had a vehicle on, or next to, or in, his property. He and his family moved out in 2020, but he plans on renting it out once it is fixed up again.
* Rent it out as what? A scrap metal lot?
* The rent’s cheap, but mostly because you’ll only be able to use the back half of the house.
* He should install a jump ramp, to send cars into the next yard.
* He could make a fortune if he charged for parking.
* You know what they say about real estate: Location, location, location.
* Then the meteor hit.

WOMAN SUES COUNTY FAIR OVER PET GOAT SLAUGHTER

A California woman is angry after she sold her daughter’s pet goat to her local county and district’s state fair, and they barbecued it. Jessica Long purchased Cedar, the beloved pet goat, in April 2022 for her 9-year-old daughter, who cared for the farm animal every day. Then they decided to enter Cedar into the Shasta District Fair’s livestock auction. The auction’s purpose is to sell animals solely for use as meat, and the fair’s brochure strictly states that there are “no exceptions.” But then, her daughter decided she wanted Cedar back, so Long snuck back into the pens and stole the goat (* Oh, she KIDnapped it, eh?). The state fair and the California Department of Food and Agriculture (CFDA) demanded the mother return Cedar, with the fair’s chief executive officer reportedly emailing her that the decision was meant to teach “our youth responsibility.” By this time, the goat had been moved to a rescue farm, and a sheriff armed with a court order retrieved it and hauled it back to the county. It is believed that Cedar was then slaughtered and served up at a community barbecue. Long is now suing the Shasta sheriff’s officials, the Shasta District Fair and others asking for actual, general and punitive damages.
* She could use the money to buy a pair of reading glasses so she can read the brochure that clearly states “Your animal will be cooked and eaten.”
* B-a-a-a-d luck, Cedar.
* It’s California – they should have sold Cedar to be a Yoga Goat.
* This is a G-GOAT: Greatest Goat story Of All Time.
* Next time, lady, buy your kid a goldfish.

5-YEAR-OLD BUYS $4,000 WORTH OF STUFF ON AMAZON

A 5-year-old girl bought $4,000 worth of stuff on Amazon. Last Monday, Jessica Nunes of Westport, Massachusetts, was riding in the car with her family when her daughter asked to use her cell phone. Not a big deal, usually. But then her phone buzzed at 2 a.m. Tuesday morning alerting her to a shipped Amazon order. She checked Amazon and discovered her credit card had been charged a total of $3,922. In the car, her daughter ordered 10 children’s motorized dirt bikes, a children’s two-seat ride-on Jeep, and 10 pairs of white cowgirl boots in women’s size 7. While Nunes was able to cancel some of the orders, five bicycles arrived that afternoon. The ride-on Jeep arrived on Friday. Fortunately, all the companies have agreed to process returns. Nunes thinks it was “absolutely hilarious that she ordered on such a grand scale.”
* Ha ha, rich people humor.
* This kid has a bright future ahead of her in embezzlement.
* “Alexa told me to do it, Mommy.”
* 10 kid’s dirt bikes and boots – the makings of a youth motorcycle gang. The Toddlers of Anarchy.
* If only you could block your Amazon account with a password.

NEW MOM TEACHES ORANGUTAN MOM HOW TO BREASTFEED

The Richmond Zoo in Virginia asked a breastfeeding zookeeper for help after their orangutan, Zoe, struggled to nurse. Zoe’s first baby had to be hand-raised after she was unable to nurse him. They said Zoe may not have learned how to parent since she was orphaned at nine months old when her mother died unexpectedly. So when she delivered her second baby in December, the zoo asked Whitlee Turner, a zookeeper and new mom, to step in and help. Whitlee and her baby boy visited Zoe and showed her, in a very exaggerated way, so that Zoe could see how it worked. Whitlee said she was talking to Zoe the whole time, pointing at her, pointing at the baby, pointing at her breasts, and showing what was happening when Caleb was latched. And it worked — Zoe successfully breastfed less than 24 hours later.
* Now if they can only get baby Caleb away from the monkey.
* I guess the pamphlets they gave Zoe had no effect? She must be a visual learner.
* In return, Zoe showed Whitlee how to get ants out of a hole using a stick.
* You’ll be able to see the actual footage on the new NatGeo show, “Secrets of the Zoo – After Dark.”

TRENDING

CMT MUSIC AWARDS WINNERS LIST

The CMT (Country Music Television) Music Awards were presented Sunday night. Here are the winners:
– Video of the Year: Kane Brown & Katelyn Brown – “Thank God”
– Female Video of the Year – Lainey Wilson – “Heart Like a Truck”
– Male Video of the Year – Jelly Roll – “Son of a Sinner”
– Group Video of the Year – Zac Brown Band – “Out in the Middle”
– Female Breakthrough Video of the Year – Megan Moroney – “Tennessee Orange”
– Male Breakthrough Video of the Year – Jelly Roll – “Son of a Sinner”
– Collaborative Video of the Year – HARDY feat. Lainey Wilson – “Wait in the truck”
– CMT Performance of the Year – Cody Johnson – “‘Til You Can’t” (from 2022 CMT MUSIC AWARDS)
– CMT Digital-First Performance of the Year – Jelly Roll – “Son of a Sinner”

THE WAYANS BROTHERS’ FATHER PASSES AWAY

Howell Wayans, the father of the Wayans family of entertainers, has died. He was 86. Howell and his late wife Elvira, who died three years ago, raised their 10 children in New York City. All of them were either in, or connected to, the entertainment community. The Wayans siblings include Dwayne, Keenen, Diedra, Damon, Kimberly, Elvira, Nadia, Devonne, Shawn, and Marlon, the youngest. Marlon Wayans posted a wonderful message on Instagram: When i was a child I asked my Dad what did you want to be when grew up? He simply said “I wanted to be a man”
I said “not a lawyer? A doctor? An actor?”
He said “just a man”
I said “but every boy becomes a man”
Dad said “Not true”
I asked “then what’s a man?”
My Dad said “A man takes care of himself and his responsibilities. His family is always FIRST”.
From that day on I wanted to be a MAN.
Thank you Pop for being an example of a Man to all your boys. I pray all young black boys can grow up to be a Man like you. Baby boy loves you.”

GWYNETH PALTROW TRIAL PLAINTIFF SAID IT WASN’T WORTH IT

Terry Sanderson, the retired optometrist who lost a lawsuit against Gwyneth Paltrow over a ski collision said Thursday that he has regrets about suing. After the trial, Sanderson told reporters that he was “very disappointed” in the verdict. When reporters asked whether going to trial was “worth it,” he had a definitive answer: “Absolutely not.” He said, “It’s like, I’m going to be on the internet forever.” He also shut down a suggestion from “Extra” host Billy Bush about appearing on a reality show. “I don’t need that,” he said.

TOP TEN STATES FOR LONG LIVING

In what state will you live the longest? (* I’d go for a state of oblivion.) Life Extension, a company that aims to “extend the healthy human lifespan,” compiled federal data to determine the best states for longevity based on life expectancy at birth and eight lifestyle factors: Exercise, Healthy diet, Healthy weight, Sleep quality, Stress levels, Social isolation, Proximity to parks, Amount that people spend on outdoor recreation. From those criteria, here are the Top 10 best states in the U.S. for a long, healthy life
1. Hawaii
2 & 3. Minnesota and Vermont (tie)
4. Washington
5. New Hampshire
6. Utah
7. Colorado
8. Massachusetts
9. California
10. Oregon

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: (March 31-April 2)

1. Dungeons & Dragons – $38.5 million
2. John Wick Chapter 4 – $28 million
3. Scream VI – $5.3 million
4. Creed III – $5 million
5. Shazam: Fury of the Gods – $4.7 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Rachel Bloom (actress, “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”) … 36
Amanda Bynes (actress) … 37
Eddie Murphy (actor/comedian) … 62
David Hyde-Pierce (actor, played Niles in “Frasier”) … 64
Alec Baldwin (actor) … 65
Mick Mars (rock musician, Motley Crue) … 67
Tony Orlando (singer) … 79
Wayne Newton (singer) … 81

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“You know, making a movie is a collaborative effort and sometimes all the ingredients don’t work out. I know that every now and again I am going to make a movie that won’t work.”

(A) Tyler Perry
(B) M. Night Shyamalan
(C) Eddie Murphy

ANSWER: (C) Eddie Murphy

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – The first Apple iPad was released.
* My Grandma thought “iPad” was a bandage you put on a black eye.

2000 – A federal judge in Washington ruled that Microsoft Corp. had violated U.S. antitrust laws by keeping “an oppressive thumb” on competitors during the race to link Americans to the Internet.
* Make that a giant, 600-ton thumb.

1958 – Fidel Castro’s Communist rebels attacked Havana.
* It was their first attempt to take over Cuba’s capital. They came close, but no cigar.

1868 – A Hawaiian surfed on the highest wave ever, when he rode a 50′ tidal wave.
* It would have been even more impressive if he hadn’t kept yelling, “Get me down! Get me down!”

1829 – The coffee mill was invented.
* Up ’til then you had to stir your coffee for three days to get the beans to dissolve.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2008 – Mariah Carey smashed Elvis Presley’s U.S. chart record by scoring the 18th number one of her career with “Touch My Body.”

2007 – Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards denied that he snorted the ashes of his late father during a drugs binge.

2000 – Mariah Carey was admitted to Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston where she was treated for food poisoning and dehydration caused by some raw oysters she at in Atlanta two days before.

1969 – Jim Morrison was arrested by the FBI for interstate flight, following obscenity charges after a Miami concert.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 30% of hiring managers think THIS is a big red flag when interviewing someone. What is it?
Bad breath

2. A recent study says doing THIS at work can increase your creativity and willingness to be a leader. What is it?
Dressing up

3. According to a recent survey, 62% of employees say doing THIS at work makes them more productive, but only 39% of bosses agree. What is it?
Making friends with co-workers

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