MILLENNIALS NOT USING FABRIC SOFTENER

Millennials don’t use fabric softener. At least, they’re not using Procter & Gamble’s once popular Downy fabric softener. As a result, sales of Downy’s liquid softener have fallen 26% between 2007 and 2015. During an investor meeting last month, Shailesh Jejurikar, P&G’s President of Global Fabric Care, said millennials simply “don’t know what the product is for or think it is for a specific load.” To fight back, Proctor and Gamble feel they need to teach millennials the benefits of fabric softener, through humor and technology. The company’s new television ads feature a GoPro video captured inside a washing machine that it hopes will educate millennials and lure them into buying its products.
* What a downer for Downy.
* Maybe when you’re working a crap job with $75,000 of college loans to pay off, you don’t have money for the little luxuries?
* I’m sorry, I’m stuck on the job title “President of Global Fabric Care”.
* This would infer that each country has its very own Vice-President of Global Fabric Care.
* I’m sure Russian hackers helped President of Global Fabric Care Shailesh Jejurikar get her job, too.
* I thought Shailesh Jejurikar was the bad guy in “Rogue One”?
* Imagine the millennial focus group at Procter & Gamble: “Do you use fabric softener?” Millennial: “What does it do?”
* Well, this explains why they’re always itching and scratching.
* Is there ANYTHING millenials can do right?
* Maybe fabric softener is tough on snowflakes.
* Gee, how far down the list of our problems should we put this?
* Don’t look at older people to bail them out. They’re more worried about stool softener.
* Okay, that was gross. I apologize.