MAN TIPS HOOKER WITH A MONKEY

A married Oregon pet shop worker paid a prostitute with cash stolen from a Girl Scout donation jar and tipped her with a small exotic primate. The story starts here: The Zany Zoo Pet Store in Albany, Oregon, reported the theft of $7,000 in Girl Scouts donation money, a laptop and a bush baby primate nicknamed “Gooey.” Surveillance video from a neighboring store viewed by police allegedly showed Nathan McClain, whose wife owns the store, breaking into the pet shop. Gooey was located on March 17 when authorities interviewed an out-of-town prostitute who had the primate. She told police that McClain paid her with money taken from the pet store, including cash stolen from a Girl Scouts donation jar. Gooey was allegedly a tip for the encounter. McClain two days later when he was observed exiting a porn shop allegedly under the influence of methamphetamine. Gooey is being housed at a nearby animal sanctuary.
* Talk about crazy monkey sex.
* And how did that work? Did he leave the monkey on the dresser? Monkeys don’t stay on dressers.
* What did the john say to the prostitute? “I love your bush baby.”
* Sometimes I think of Oregon as Florida Junior in the wacky news.
* It’s not the volume of the stories. It’s the creativity.
* So the guy steals from his wife and then uses the money for a whore? It’s going to take some real sweet-talking to get past this.
* 7 grand in Girl Scout donations? Great, so they’re also doing better than I thought.