MAN STEALS FLAMINGO FROM THE FLAMINGO HOTEL – Mar 6

A Canadian tourist faces charges after Las Vegas police said he stole a flamingo from the Flamingo hotel and took the bird back to his room, injuring it. Mitchell Fairbarn, 33, of Ontario, Canada, faces four counts of felony animal abuse. Police reviewed surveillance footage, which showed Fairbarn entering the flamingo habitat around 5 a.m. and grabbing a bird named “Peachy.” Fairbarn also allegedly injured other animals in the process, including “pinning down” a second bird and not letting it escape. The video then shows Fairbarn returning in an elevator to a hotel room with the animal. In his defense, Fairbarn allegedly claimed he saw a flamingo in distress and wanted to ‘pop’ the bird’s wing into place, “a common practice for birds, such as ducks,” he said. Mr. Fairbarn said he “has knowledge of this because he is a farm boy.”
* Yeah, those flamingo farms are all over Canada, eh?
* This is a good defense because growing up on a farm doesn’t suggest at all that he might have developed an interest in doing untoward things with animals.
* I think I deserve a round of applause for phrasing that last comment as non-graphically as possible.
* Well… he was IN a hotel room with a flamingo, and the sign out front DOES say “Flamingo Hotel”…
* Most guests just take the complimentary soap or shampoo, maybe a towel.
* He could have gone to the New York-New York hotel and copped a pigeon, no one would have noticed.