MAN RUNS MARATHON WHILE JUGGLING

A Canadian man ran the Chicago Marathon this past weekend while juggling three balls and completed the race in less than three hours without dropping a single ball. Michal Kapral, who also refers to himself as “The Joggler,” finished the race in two hours and 55 minutes, as he attempted to beat his “joggling” marathon world record of two hours and 50 minutes. While Kapral didn’t achieve his primary goal, he managed to cross the finish line without a single drop despite some close calls when wind nearly blew his balls away. Kapral uses lightweight beanbag balls for his races and tosses them about 50,000 times over the course of a marathon, only keeping the balls at rest when he comes to a complete stop to eat or drink along the path.
* “Look at me,” he says. “Look … at … me.”
* My balls juggle enough when I run, thank you very much.
* The wind nearly blew his balls away? Maybe he needs a stronger jockstrap.
* I knew Chicago was windy, but blowing your balls away?
* “The Joggler.” Add that to the list of Rejected X-Men.
* Six minutes faster and he would have beaten his record? Loser!
* “If only I hadn’t stopped for that Sno-Cone!”
* Would it be rude to ask him what’s the point?
* See, usually they hide the craziness by attaching it to a noble cause.
* “I’m not nuts. No way! I’m juggling balls for charity.”
* I’m going to be charitable myself and just call him eccentric.
* If he was joggling with chainsaws, MAYBE I’d be impressed.
* But I’d still wonder “Why?”