MAN PUMPS HIS FECES INTO EX-FRIEND’S MAIL SLOT

Geoffrey Holroyd-Doveton, 75, of Rotherham, England, somehow believed his best friend Donald Wicks, who is gay and married, had contributed to his divorce more than two years ago and ruined his life. Seeking revenge, Holroyd-Doveton saved his feces in a container for several weeks, then traveled to his friend’s home while he was away on New Year’s Day. Once there, he used a homemade pump to push the mess through the mail slot in the front door. Apparently, there was a lot of splatter. Surveillance footage captured the act. Mr. Holroyd-Doveton pleaded guilty in court this week to causing more than $5,000 in damage. He was given a suspended jail sentence along with 80 hours of community service.
* Don’t you hate it when other people are always giving you crap?
* Brown delivers in England, too.
* The house is cute from the outside, but inside, it’s a dump.
* The Number One thing you don’t want coming through your mail slot is Number Two.
* Wouldn’t just egging the guy’s house have been easier?