MAN KILLS FRIEND OVER ZOMBIE FEAR

A man in Grants, New Mexico, told authorities he fatally beat his friend because he was turning into a zombie. Officers were called Thursday afternoon to an apartment complex where 23-year-old Damon Perry was allegedly wielding a knife. They found 23-year-old Christopher Paquin’s body inside an apartment. Perry told investigators they had been drinking when Paquin began “to change into a zombie” and tried to bite him. Perry beat Paquin with his hands, feet, an electric guitar and a microwave. Perry attributed his actions to binge-watching “The Walking Dead”.
* I can’t grasp the logic of killing someone before they turn into a zombie.
* The worst time to turn into a zombie is when you’re with a friend who has no brains.
* Perry beat his friend with his hands, feet, an electric guitar, and finally grabbed the microwave so it could get done quicker.
* Okay, some of you are taking this Halloween thing WAY too seriously.
* This was bad enough but you should have seen what he did after he binge-watched the Sopranos.
* He tried to become the Don of New Mexico.
* Now he’s going to be binge-watching the wall of a cell.
* Wait, if this man really was becoming a zombie maybe we owe Damon a debt of gratitude instead.
* I’m just saying let’s keep an open mind ’til the trial.