MAN HAD WW1 ARTILLERY SHELL STUCK IN HIS BUTT

(Note: we tried to avoid this story, thinking it can’t possibly be true. But it turns out, it is.)
A French hospital was partially evacuated Saturday after a senior citizen arrived with a World War I artillery shell lodged in his rectum. According to the French newspaper Var-Martin, an 88-year-old man went to the Hospital Sainte Musse in Toulon to have the antique explosive removed. He attempted to reassure them that the shell was not dangerous, saying that it had been “demilitarized.” Still, the hospital called for a “partial evacuation” while surgeons removed the projectile, which did turn out to be a “collector’s shell,” and posed no danger of exploding. Doctors and nurses removed the shell with surgery, retrieving it through the patient’s abdomen. The shell measured around two inches in diameter by eight inches in length (6 centimeters in diameter by 20cm long).
* So everything turned out okay, in the end.
* Two inches by eight inches? That’s a stretch.
* Did some angry enemy German shove it up there back in the Great War? Or did he just bend over at the wrong time?
* Reliving an adventure he had in the trenches?
* Talk about explosive diarrhea.