MAN FALSELY CLAIMS HE WAS SHOT BY CLOWN

In the flood of stories about scary clown sightings in America, comes this: Police in Bibb County, Georgia, say 24-year-old Marvin Leon Cooper III had been shot once in the left leg. Cooper said that he was walking through Alphabet City when a few people dressed as “clowns” jumped out of a vehicle and started shooting. After further questioning, Cooper admitted to lying about being shot by clowns. Cooper stated he had been shot by an unknown male after the male asked him if he had any drugs. Cooper stated he responded “no,” turned to walk away and was shot.
* What a bozo.
* The cops knew he was lying when detectives checked the scene and the shoeprints were normal size.
* Anyway, clowns don’t attack you with guns. They attack you with bottles of seltzer water.
* So, “a clown did it” is now the go-to excuse for anything. Well, it’s worked so long for Congress.
* He was walking through Alphabet City looking for some D-R-U-G-S, I B-E-T.
* Wait, this was in Georgia? Maybe Florida’s wackiness is moving north.
* I know what happened. That last hurricane blew some wackiness along the Eastern seaboard.
* Sorry, now I’m the one clowning around.
* I like it when the guy who gets shot was just minding his own business innocently walking down the road.
* Not that it couldn’t happen, but this guy’s covering up something and it’s more than a lie about a clown.