MAN FAKED BEING SECRET SERVICE AGENT TO IMPRESS WOMEN

Christopher Diiorio, 54, of Greensburg, Pennsylvania, was placed on probation for two years and fined $500 for pretending he was a Secret Service agent. Diiorio bought fake Secret Service identification cards and badges online to impress women on a dating site. He also flashed the Secret Service ID card during a traffic stop and tried to use a Secret Service badge to get a government rate for a hotel room. His real job: Diiorio owns a pet poop scooping company called Doodle Scoopers. “Your honor, I’m not a bad man, I’m a dumb man,” Diiorio told the U.S. District Judge. “What I did was truly stupid and I’m very sorry for that.”
* He’s really up Doodle’s Creek now.
* Wasn’t this a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio?
* Would he throw himself on a pile of dog doo for the President?
* I think he should tell us how often his plan worked.
* “So why aren’t you at Trump Tower or the White House?” “I’m doing advance work in case the President ever comes to Greensburg, Pennsylvania.”
* “You know, maybe he’ll get tired of his trips to Mar-a-Lago, and come here one weekend.”
* I could see how the Doodle Scoopers business wasn’t a big winner with the ladies.
* By day he scooped dog poop, and by night he shoveled BS.
* Now he’s pretending to be a U.S. District Judge.
* Wait, the government gets a special rate at hotels? Once again, normal people get screwed.