MAN DRESSED AS TREE BLOCKS TRAFFIC

Portland, Maine, police were called to the downtown area Monday afternoon for a report of a man dressed as a tree standing in the street. Asher Woodworth (* or so he says) was charged with obstructing traffic. Police removed the tree outfit and gave it to Public Works to take care of.
* Stripped down to his trunks, eh?
* Every family tree has an odd branch.
* Why’d he do it? Cops are stumped.
* Did he try to flee? Did the sap run?
* The police said, “Sir, you have to leaf.”
* And the guy said, “Oh, thank god. I’m bushed.”
* Is he from out of state, or does he have roots in the city?
* Maybe he just wanted to spruce up the place.
* What he did was not very poplar with the motorists.
* Some people can’t help but make an ash of themselves.
* Once in jail, he’s going to pine for his freedom.
* Just curious – how many times did he get peed on by dogs?
* I hope no one tried to cut their initials into him.
* Look, we’re all proud of our Halloween costumes but there’s no need to rush it.
* Uh oh, he better hope his cellmate isn’t a tree hugger.
* Critics are calling it a brilliant depiction of the encroachment of man on nature.
* Either that or he’s just crazy.
* Our commute isn’t great this morning, but at least we don’t have any guys in tree costumes in the road.