MAN CLIMBS EIFFEL TOWER

The Eiffel Tower was evacuated Monday after a man decided to scale the iconic landmark. The company that operates the 984-foot-tall tower said it was standard procedure to evacuate the tower under the circumstances. Police do not yet know why he was climbing.
* Hello? “Spider-Man: Far From Home”? Takes place in Europe? Opens in six weeks?
* They evacuate the Eiffel Tower because that way everyone can get a better view of the guy when he falls.
* Eiffel. Bad name for climbers. Sounds like “I fell.”
* He climbed it because do you know what it costs to ride the elevator up that thing?
* Time to start coating the Eiffel Tower with butter.