MAN BURNS HOUSE GETTING RID OF OPOSSUMS

A Lancaster, Pennsylvania, man trying to drive opossums away from his yard accidentally set fire to his house, causing $50,000 worth of damage. The man started a backyard blaze with leaves and charcoal lighter fluid last Wednesday in an attempt to drive away the opossums living around his home. Unfortunately for him the exterior of the residence was made of wood, and the fire got out of control and spread to the residence.
* Opossums can be real opricks.
* Even worse, when the fire started, the opossums ran off with his garden hose.
* Maybe next time try a mountain lion.
* And while you’re at it – make the new exterior with bricks.
* His idea wasn’t too hot but his house sure was.
* Hey, we almost have enough for a new wacky news category: Anytime you burn the house down doing something stupid.
* Just last week we had that guy who set his house on fire trying to get rid of drugs before the bounty hunter got him.
* Plus, what about the guy who set the cockroach on fire and it ran into the walls of his house?
* And yes, it does worry me that I remember this stuff.
* Of course, it won’t be easy to get a new category for this. If I had to choose among several strong nominees the new category would probably be airline beatdowns.