KOREAN MEN GOT FAT TO AVOID MILITARY SERVICE

A dozen South Korean college graduates purposely packed on the pounds so they could avoid the country’s mandatory military draft. The dumpy dozen filled up on pizza, hamburgers and more five times a day in an effort to become overweight and fail the required physical exam. One man gained a whopping 66 pounds in just six months. All able-bodied men are required to serve two years in the military before they turn 28 – and they must undergo a physical exam to determine whether they are fit for active duty. Men who are deemed unfit for the military may be exempted or assigned to work in alternative service programs within the community. Two of the 12 men have completed and alternative service program, and four are still working at a community center. The other six have not yet enlisted. Each of the candidates – all vocalists who were music majors in college – had hoped to be assigned to the alternative program because they wanted to have time to sing after work. The case will be referred to prosecution. All of the men will be forced to serve the mandatory two years of service if found guilty – including the pair who had already finished the alternative program.
* Will they be found innocent? Fat chance.
* When they found out they were going to face prosecution, the fatties started to blubber.
* They’re not fit for active duty, and they can’t fit into their uniforms, either.
* Look, all of us want to sing after work, but sometimes you have to put your country first.
* Time for Plan B: Cut off an arm.
* If it’s any consolation, all these men were named honorary Americans.