INTERNATIONAL ALTERNATIVES FOR “WHEN PIGS FLY”

You know the phrase “When Pigs Fly”? People say it about things that will probably not happen. There are variations of that thematic idea around the world:
– In Greece: It will happen on St. Never’s day.
– France: When chicken have teeth.
– Philippines: When the crow turns white.
– India: When the hen grows a pair of nipples.
– Spain: When frogs grow hair.
– Brazil: Not even if the cow coughs.
– Cantonese Chinese: When pigs can climb trees.
– Argentina: On Goalkeeper’s Day.
– Albania: On August 36th.
– South Africa: When horses grow horns.
– Denmark: When there are two Thursdays in one week.
– Belgium: In the week with 4 Thursdays.
– Cambodia: When my [penis] grows a hand.
* Whoa – what the hell, Cambodia?
* I’ve been to a farm. I’ve seen horses with the horns.
* Give us a couple more years with the CRISPR gene splicing. We’ll be able to make all of these.
* What if Goalkeeper’s Day was August 36th?