HOW TO POOP IN THE WOODS

Last night – Thursday, February 4 – Outdoor Chattanooga held one of their free weekly workshops teaching locals new skills for the outdoors. Thursday night’s class: How To Poop In The Woods. Participants learned the ins and outs of properly going to the bathroom outside without access to a “formal flushing facility”, and how to properly dispose of human waste while leaving no trace. Terri Chapin, Outdoor Chattanooga programs coordinator, teaches the course. “It’s a subject that many don’t like to talk about, but it’s important as we’re preserving spaces and bringing people out there.”
* Well, it sure does make ME want to visit.
* I heard it’s a waste of time. They don’t teach squat.
* In fact, it’s a bunch of crap.
* I wonder if any bears, or the Pope, attended?
* The first lesson: Go Before You Leave The House.”
* Another tip: avoid using poison ivy for toilet paper.
* Notice how we’re still so uptight we have to say “going to the bathroom outside …”
* If there was a bathroom we wouldn’t HAVE to go outside.
* And why call it a bathroom anyway like we’re too polite to mention toilets?
* It’s like how people say, “we slept together” when they barely spent any of the time sleeping.