HOW DOES YOUR PARTNER RATE? A B-MINUS

A new survey, conducted by adult retailer EdenFantasys, asked 1,000 girlfriends and 1,000 boyfriends in heterosexual relationships to grade their partner and then grade themselves on all areas of their relationship. The results of how Americans rate their partners:
– Making effort with friends — C (76)
– Making effort with partner’s family/ parents — B- (80)
– Showing affection in public — C+ (77)
– Romance overall — C+ (78)
– Spontaneity — C (75)
– Listening skills — C+ (78)
– Patience — C+ (78)
– Friendship — B (85)
– Humor — B- (81)
– Fashion sense — B- (80)
– Cleanliness — B (83)
– Film/TV taste — B- (80)
– Kissing ability — B (83)
– Sex life — B (84)
– Overall Average — B- (80)

Bedroom scores:
– Oral sex skill — B (80)
– Intercourse skill — B (84)
– Dirty talk — C (73)
– Noises — C+ (77)
– Bedroom generosity — B- (82)
– Kissing skill — B (83)
– Hand/finger skill — B- (82)
– Overall foreplay skill — B- (80)
– Overall Average — B- (80)
* Ugh. I feel like I just watched a bunch of strangers have an orgy.
* I’ll bet these were graded on a curve.
* So much for “Don’t judge me.”
* How can you be “spontaneous” when you’re trying to do 47 things correctly?
* All these categories, and the dummies at EdenFantasys didn’t include “Skill at using sex toys”.
* Can I write a paper or something for extra credit?