Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS LIST
WInner winner, not for Sinners.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
THE RAZZIE AWARDS: WINNERS LIST
Ptthhhhhht!
SESAME STREET SUES SEA WORLD
Big Bird, big lawsuit.
HALF OF AMERICA DOESN’T GO TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE
How did “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” not pull them in?
OSCAR NOMINEE GIFT BAGS
In which luxury companies get their names mentioned on the radio.
QUENTIN TARENTINO TO DIRECT LONDON PLAY
A “swashbuckling” comedy!
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?
He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.
Guy staggers into a bar.
Bartender says, “You look beat.”
Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.”
Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.”
Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”
A guy goes up to his boss after an ethics training seminar.
He says, “Boss, that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals.
His boss says, “Look, animal testing is an accepted practice, many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.”
Guy says, “Yeah, but we make hammers.”
What happened to the sewer worker?
He died in the line of dooty.
Guy goes into the confession booth.
He says, “Father, I just committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes. I was angry and envious of my neighbor, so I lazily made love to his wife, and then ate all of his groceries. And I didn’t share anything.”
Priest says, “You forgot pride.”
Guy says, “No, I’m pretty proud of myself for this.”
U.S. NEWS
IDIOTS BREAK A MAMMOTH TUSK AT MUSEUM
♫ Just tell me that you want me. ♪♫ – Fleetwood Mac
LANDLORD TOSSED TARANTULA DOWN THE STAIRS TO HARASS TENANT
My spider-sense is tingling.
DEFENDANT ATTEMPTS TO PAY BAIL WITH BOGUS BILLS
“Here, judge, and keep the change.”
AUDIO: MAN STEALS FROM WHOLE FOODS
Five trips, $21,000.
FLORIDA MAN STEALS SEPTIC TANK
A going concern.
BUC-EE’S GETS AN “F” FROM THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU
Eat here. Get Gas.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
CANADIAN DISASTER: TIM HORTON’S COLOR-CHANGING MUGS RECALLED
The Great White Ouch.
STRANDED SKIERS WRITE S.O.S. WITH ICE CHUNKS
Never mind, it says, “HELF.”
KAYAKERS ATTACKED BY HOT AIR BALLOON
The Golden Age Of Ambush Ballooning.
GOLDFISH DRIVES CAR 40 FEET
It was a little car.
JAPANESE MAN FALLS INTO HOLE ON TOP OF HIBERNATING BEAR
Crankier than the average bear.
CHINESE MAN CAUGHT SMUGGLING ANTS ONTO AIRPLANE
Surprisingly, not in his pants.
BRITISH MAN TURNS BLUE
He dyed.
KICKBOXER PULLS A CAR WITH HIS TESTICLES
Tug of war.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
How To Transport A Fish
Pickle Puss
Your Nightmare
Igloo Cellar Door
Scuba Finals
I’m Free!
THE BUZZ
ROAD TRIP FAVORITES
Get gas, eat here.
TOUGHER THAN IT LOOKS
Don’t tell anyone how easy radio is!
HOW NOT TO IMPRESS A GIRL
God, we’re stupid.
HOW TO MAKE THAT 3-POINTER
Crouch!
AUDIO: AMERICAN SMOKERS – LESS THAN 10%
But vaping? *Throws down a smoke bomb*
COMPANY SECRETS
Spill the beans!
DUMB HEADLINES
Our weekly look a the dumbest real headlines.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
PROJECT HAIL MARY
Starts Friday, March 20 in theaters.
READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME
Starts Friday, March 20 in theaters.
THE POUT-POUT FISH
Starts Friday, March 20 in theaters.
UNDERTONE
Starts Friday, March 13 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
A & M AUTOLAND – Suggestion Box
Big Al and Big Mike are asking for feedback – and boy are they going to get it.
SONG: WHEN YOU’RE IRISH IN A BAR
‘Tis a song for the day, boyo.
JACK 0’LANTERNS
We overstocked at Halloween.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 13.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Anniversary
Sometimes, anniversaries are joyous occasions. Sometimes not.
ADOLESCENT MOTIVATION CENTER
Tried and true methods that work!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 6.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – EZLease
Sorry, but with Al and Mike, nothing is ever easy.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, Fedbruary 27.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
MAIL SNOW
A simple plan.
A & M AUTOLAND – Day Two
It’s Day Two of A&M’s Big Sale starting next week!
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