HOARDER HAD A HOUSE FULL OF PIGEONS

Authorities on Long Island, New York, found more than 350 pigeons Thursday morning in a squalid home-turned-pigeon coop. The home had at least 2 feet of droppings and bird seed on the floor. The Nassau County Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said the droppings were so deep the doors couldn’t be opened or closed. The two-story residence was described as a real life pigeon coop with birds flying free in every room. The birds were breeding inside the house and numerous baby pigeons were found. Officials said the homeowner, Gregory Unruh, 68, is a hoarder, and he was transported to a hospital for a medical evaluation. Neighbors described him as a “recluse” and he was known on the block as “birdman,” although no one said they knew how bad the situation was.
* He was coo-coo.
* Birdman? How about Bird Turd Man?
* I guess you’d HAVE to end up a recluse if two feet of bird droppings keep your doors from opening or closing.
* If the pigeons all flap their wings at once they could lift the house.
* Meanwhile, pigeons are so filthy they were all thinking “What’s the problem? This place is great!”
* On the bright side, concentrated pigeon manure sells for about $3 to $5 for a 5-pound bag, so Mr. Unruh could be sitting pretty.
* Once the stuff is shoveled into bags. Until then, there’s no way to sit pretty in that house.
* Maybe he was actually running a home business?
* Anyone check the basement yet?
* Maybe that’s where he keeps his rat collection.
* That’s not a pigeon coop. That’s a pigeon tenement.