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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
CONTESTANT ON “SURVIVOR: GREECE” SUES OVER LOST LEG
The producers should plead immunity.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
“WHEEL OF FORTUNE” ANNOUNCER SUSPENDED
Nobody knows Y.
HOOTERS: THE MOVIE
Front projection.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
DOLLY: THE HURRICANE
Too (mon)soon?
WHAT ABOUT DOLLYWOOD?
What about it?
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
A lumberjack said he chopped down EXACTLY 56,742 trees.
I asked, “How do you know that?” He said, “I keep a log.”
Why are there no rockstars from South East Asia?
They Singapore
Why do doctors like to tap your knee with a rubber hammer?
They get a kick out of it.
What do cannibals use to blow their noses?
Soft tissue.
Did you hear about the man who evaporated?
He’ll be mist.
U.S. NEWS
MAN WINS $1 MILLION ON BIRTHDAY GIFT LOTTERY TICKET
Serves the cheap-ass gift-giver right.
SUSPECT FOUND HIDING IN DOG HOUSE
A shaggy dog story.
COLLEGE STUDENT DIES, ROOMMATES DIDN’T NOTICE
Maybe pick up some Airwick at the store.
MOM GETS SIX MONTHS FOR LETTING 5-YEAR-OLD SON WALK AROUND ALONE
The Karening of America continues.
STUCKEY’S CLOSES LONG-TIME MANUFACTURING PLANT
They’re nuts.
UNITED AIRLINES WILL DELIVER FOOD TO YOU WHILE YOU’RE WAITING AT THE GATE
No way this can go wrong.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
LEAP HOUR
It’s about time.
GRAVE DIGGING CONTEST IN HUNGARY
Tomb it may concern.
MAN SURVIVES TREE FALL, DIES IN ELEVATOR DROP
A real downer, man.
NEW QUEEN OF NORWAY MISSES HUSBAND’S SWEARING-IN AS KING
Oh, was that today?
MAN KILLED BY SIGN THAT READ “EVERYTHING’S UNMISSABLE”
Please observe the No Smoting sign.
MAN DISCOVERS CHEATING WIFE VIA ROBOT VACUUM
Why you little Dirt Devil!
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Well, If You Say So
Ta-Daa!
Windy Day
So That’s What Goes On Under There
Cool For School
Not Today, Fox
THE BUZZ
THE 2026 IG NOBEL PRIZES
Scooby dooby dubious.
UPON TURNING 30
Do this stuff! Do it now! Hurry!
DUMB HEADLINES
Read, discuss, have listeners vote for the dumbest.
WHAT DO PATIENTS LIE ABOUT THE MOST?
“Everybody lies.” – Gregory House, M. D.
SLEEP YOUR WAY THIN
Study says drop pounds with an extra hour per night.
ASSHOLES OF THE ANIMAL WORLD
Paging Doctor Doolittle.
STUDY: HEAVY METAL MUSIC INCREASES TOLERANCE FOR PAIN
Science 𝗆̶𝖺̶𝗋̶𝖼̶𝗁̶𝖾̶𝗌̶ rocks on.
THE HARDEST-WORKING STATES
Workin’ it.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
BY ANY MEANS
Starts Friday, September 4 in theaters.
THE SUN NEVER SETS
Starts Friday, September 4 in theaters.
ONSLAUGHT
Starts Friday, September 4 in theaters.
COYOTE VS. ACME
Starts Friday, August 28 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 4.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Free Dinners
With their latest promotion, Al and Mike have bitten off more than they can chew.
UNIVERSITY OF HIBBING: JOBS
Earn that college degree in a week, maybe two.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, August 28.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Scratch And Dent Sale
Now more damaged cars than ever!
GERONIMO NURSING HARNESS
For the active new mother.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, August 21.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Echo
Big Al’s latest idea has Big Mike bouncing off the walls.
F&A PIZZA
You got that right, ya mook.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, August 14.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
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