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Today Is…

MONDAY – Oct 5

FRIDAY – Oct 2

THURSDAY – Oct 1

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

MONDAY ALMANAC – Oct 5

FRIDAY ALMANAC – Oct 2

THURSDAY ALMANAC – Oct 1

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

MONDAY TRIVIA – Oct 5

FRIDAY TRIVIA – Oct 2

THURSDAY TRIVIA – Oct 1

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

NEW, DARKER MARY POPPINS IN THE WORKS

It’s a jolly effin’ ‘oliday, innit?

AUDIO: TV SHOW ATTRACTS PETS – “SEALOOK”

Your dog wants steak, and a Netflix subscription.

NICOLE KIDMAN ASKS FANS TO DEMAND A FOURTH SEASON OF “LIONESS”

Do it for Nikky.

AUDIO: SHATNER GOES HEAVY METAL

Enter Shatman.

TAYLOR SWIFT TO RECEIVE MADE-UP AWARD ON MTV VMA’S

Orson Wells couldn’t be here tonight.

GAGA’S BABY HAS A NAME: ROSE BEAN POLANSKY

Bean?

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

Why did the man have stir fry food all over his bed?

posted October 2
He’d been sleep wokking.

How do you know that your teenager is depressed?

posted October 1
You take her to her favorite restaurant, and she barely takes a picture of food.

What’s the secret to making dog biscuits?

posted September 30
Collie flour.

Guy walks up to Pablo Picasso.

posted September 29
He says, “Pablo! How’re ya doin’? Remember me? Picasso says, “I’m sorry, I’m not good with faces.”

How did a lady with black hair go to a baseball game and come home with blonde hair?

posted September 28
She was sitting in the bleachers.

U.S. NEWS

AUDIO: HERO DOG ALERTS POLICE TO FALLEN OWNER

Good boy. Or girl, they didn’t say.

CARS FULL OF RATS

Willard.

COOKING OIL THIEVES BUSTED

Oil’s well that ends well.

FOOTBALL COACH RELIEVES DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR MID-QUARTER

“Why don’t you run and get us some hot dogs, Tyson?” – CSU Coach Mora, probably.

WOMAN GROWS 170-POUND ZUCCHINI

Green giant.

TEACHER OFFERED EXTRA CREDIT IF STUDENTS CONTRIBUTED TO HER GOFUNDME

At least it wasn’t OnlyFans.

DOOMSDAY COMING NEXT MONTH. SORRY, FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

Friday, November 13, 2026.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WOMAN BURIED IN MUSHROOM COFFIN

The morel of the story: be eco-concious.

VACATION RENTAL COMPANY DENIES GHOST SIGHTING

The Maltese Phantom.

ENGLISH MALE BEAUTY CONTEST SEEKS CONTESTANTS

Innit?

TURKISH COMEDIAN FOUND GUILTY OF INSULTING PRESIDENT

Turkey president hates being roasted.

MAN DRESSED AS BATMAN CHASES THIEF, RECOVERS PURSE

Holy rented costume!

ITALIAN POLICE FIND $3.5 MILLION HIDDEN IN APARTMENT WALLS

They’ll never think to look there.

SAMSUNG SENDS FIRMWARE UPDATE THAT BRICKS THEIR REFRIGERATORS

Stopped them cold. Or, rather, warm.

BEE THIEVES STRIKE QUEENSLAND

Yes, it was a sting operation.

FUNNY PICTURES

Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.

Veggie Monster

posted October 2

I Thought It Would Be Bigger

posted October 2

Halloween Costume Idea

posted October 1

Autumn Pie

posted October 1

Classy Pool Table

posted September 30

Homer Escalator

posted September 30

THE BUZZ

WEIRD FIRST DATE QUESTIONS

a.k.a. “There will be no second date.”

UNPOPULAR OPINIONS

Mashed potatoes, truffles and instant noodles take the hit.

STUDY: DEEP VOICES MAKE MEN SEEM STRONGER

In a world…

RELATIONSHIP-ENDING HOBBIES

Beware golf, and CrossFit.

DUMB HEADLINES

The headlines that make you say, “Ah, skip it.”

TURN YOUR CAR INTO A SELF-DRIVER WITH CRAP FROM THE INTERNET

Be the first on your block to be the last on your block.

COLOR CODED PUMPKINS

Oh, for chrissake.

HELICOPTER PARENTING

Get to da choppa!

TRENDING

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (October 2-4)

DIDDY PLACED IN SOLITARY AFTER NBC REPORT

RICK NIELSEN SELLING HIS 5-NECKED GUITAR

MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARD WINNERS

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (Sept 25-27)

“WEIRD” AL YANKOVIC HAS ASTEROID NAMED AFTER HIM

COYOTE VS. ACME MAKES $100 MILLION

DOLLY PARTON’S NEPHEW SUED TO SHUT UP

NEW MOVIES

Click on name for details and audio clips

DIGGER

Starts Friday, October 2 in theaters.

VERITY

Starts Friday, October 2 in theaters.

THE SCOUT

Starts Friday, October 2 in theaters.

HEART OF THE BEAST

Starts Friday, September 25 in theaters.

Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.

PROPOSITION 81

Political ad gone wrong.

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, October 2.

PROMOS-TO-GO

Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts

A & M AUTOLAND – Two Percent Sale

Big Al never quite got the hang of fractions and decimals.

TRIACLINIC COLD MEDICINE

There’s one for your cold, probably.

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, September 25.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Funny fake sponsorship announcements

A & M AUTOLAND – STOP THINKING

Thinking of buying a new car? Stop thinking! Al and Mike have!

FOURTOOTH FARMS CORNY MAZE

Makes a great babysitter, when you have errands.

OKTOBERFEST SONG – BIERGARTEN GIRLS

It’s Oktoberfest time!

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, September 18.

PROMOS-TO-GO

Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts

A & M AUTOLAND – No Reasonable Offer

Big Al gets an offer he can’t refuse.

FELDMAN’S BIG AND DUMB SHOP FOR MEN

For stupid men, duh.

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