FRIDAY, Nov 17 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, November 17, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

ELECTRONIC GREETING CARD DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Electronic Greeting Card Day is today. Send ecards to everyone you know. Most people love to send and receive ecards. They’re fun and can be free … a great combination. Hop on an electronic greeting card site, and send a few animated cards today. Don’t just limit the fun to today. The online greeting card sites have cards for every day of the year.”

HOMEMADE BREAD DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Bakers of the world, rise up and bake some bread, for today is Homemade Bread Day. Bread has been made for thousands of years. Estimates date its origin back to 5000-10,000 B.C. Modern day lifestyles have relegated homemade bread to the world of specialty baking and holiday baking. People just don’t have time to bake home made bread. The arrival of automatic bread makers has created a small resurgence of homemade breads, especially specialty breads. The purpose of this day is easy to understand – to make homemade bread, and to encourage you and me to make tasty and nutritious bread. So, take a little time out of your busy day, and make some bread. Your nose, your taste buds, and your whole family will be glad you did. Happy Homemade Bread Day!”

NATIONAL BAKLAVA DAY

NATIONAL UNFRIEND DAY

TAKE A HIKE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Take a Hike Day is today. Walking and hiking are excellent ways to get exercise, and get into shape. Hikes are distinguished from walks in that they are taken in the woods, hills, mountains, or somewhere else in a nature setting. Hikes not only give you exercise, they also provide scenic sites and vistas, that are good for relaxation of the mind and soul. Use this special day to take a hike, alone or with others. You’ll be glad you did.”

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

SNOOP DOGG SAYS HE’S GIVING UP WEED

Is Snoop Dogg giving up smoking dope? He wrote a simple message on Instagram: “After much consideration and conversation with my family, I’ve decided to give up smoke. Please respect my privacy at this time.” The message doesn’t specifically mention marijuana, nor does it preclude him using edibles. Snoop once said he smokes 81 joints a day and has a personal blunt roller.
* So is he quitting? It’s not like someone who’s high 24 hours a day to be so unclear.
* What prompted this was, he missed a couple of joints, and suddenly realized he had a family.
* He better taper off gradually. His lungs have to get used to oxygen again.
* There goes another sector of the economy.
* Oh, well. More left for Willie Nelson.

THE BUZZ

SHOCKING RESEARCH STUDY: DOGS BARK

Now, your dog is suffering from an anxiety disorder. Finnish researchers from the University of Helsinki sent surveys to the owners of almost 14,000 dog owners as part of a study into dog mental health. They found 73 per cent of dogs show some form of anxiety disorder and related anti-social behaviors such as barking or aggression.
– The biggest cause of stress for dogs is loud noise – mainly from fireworks and thunder – but they were also affected by other dogs and even people.
– The study claims dogs can even mirror conditions their owners have like OCD and ADHD.
The study found different breeds tend to have different anxieties. For example:
– Spanish Water Dogs had the biggest fear of strangers
– Staffordshire Bull Terriers are the bravest with strangers
– Collies had the biggest fear of surfaces and heights, with a border collie the least scared
– Mixed breed dogs were the most hyperactive and least attentive
– Rough collies (Lassie-type dogs) were the least hyperactive and Spanish Water Dogs the most attentive
– Miniature Schnauzers were the most aggressive towards strangers and a Labrador Retriever the least aggressive
– Staffordshire Bull Terriers are the most likely to chase their tail (* So they also suffer from stupidity and frustration.)
– Wheaten Terriers are the noisiest dogs with Smooth Collies the quietest
* But, all in all, hot dogs are the best, with mustard.
* Man, the University of Helsinki really, REALLY wants me to Google “Spanish Water Dogs”.
* Why do I feel like I’m about to start seeing TV ads for dog anxiety medication?
* Send out surveys and count the results. Have these researchers got a cake job or what?

U.S. NEWS

POLICE CHASE ENDS IN TIPPED GOLF COURSE PORTA POTTY

A police chase Wednesday in Glendale, WIsconsin, ended in a porta potty. Police attempted to pull over a driver in a stolen car. In avoiding the stop sticks, the driver drove into oncoming traffic and caused a crash with two other vehicles. Four people inside the stolen vehicle fled. One suspect took off across a golf course and ran into a porta potty. A golfer who saw what was happening walked over and pushed the porta potty over with the suspect inside. Police apprehended that suspect.
* If the guy was above the hole when he went in, he wasn’t when he came out.
* That must have been a horrible lie.
* “This is the police! Commode with your hands up!”
* They let him put his own cuffs on, I guess.
* From the outhouse to the Big House.

ETHICS COMMITTEE: REPRESENTATIVE GEORGE SANTOS LIED, LIED, LIED

New York Congressman George Santos said Thursday that he will not seek reelection, after a House ethics committee investigation found “substantial evidence” that he committed fraud, violated ethics rules and illegally used campaign funds for personal purposes. The scathing report details what it describes as “a complex web of unlawful activity involving Representative Santos’ campaign, personal, and business finances.” Meanwhile, members of Congress are moving to expel Santos from his seat. In a statement Thursday, Santos denounced the report as “biased” and said the committee “went to extraordinary lengths to smear myself and my legal team.”
* At least this frees him up to go win another 19 medals in the Olympics next summer.
* The shock from the report was so great, his mother keeled over and died for a third time.
* Boy, you hate to see accusations like this tarnish the image of politicians.
* To quickly expel Santos from his seat, I suggest connecting it to a car battery.
* Santos said he was actually relieved; he was tired of constantly buying new pants because the old pants kept catching on fire.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CHINESE PRESIDENT XI TO SEND U.S. MORE PANDAS

Chinese President Xi Jinping told US business leaders during his visit to America Wednesday that he plans to send additional pandas to American zoos — just a week after reclaiming the three panda bears from the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Xi said, “We are ready to continue our cooperation with the United States on panda conservation, so as to deepen the friendly ties between our two peoples.”
* “They will return as soon as we implant the spy cameras.”
* Yeah, send us some fresh pandas, will ya? Those other ones were getting kinda ratty.
* Why can’t we make our own pandas? It’s not like China respects OUR patents.
* In exchange, China wants the US to send them something fun: Taiwan.
* Meanwhile, Putin’s thinking: “But just the other day he told me I̲ was his besty!”

TRENDING

MARTHA STEWART CANCELS THANKSGIVING

Martha Stewart says she has officially canceled her Thanksgiving dinner. Stewart, 82, said while appearing on “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” that one guest called in sick, and then the other nine guests bailed, so Stewart decided to cancel the whole thing. Stewart says, “I’ve also cooked 14 turkeys already for my TV show, and I still have to [cook] one more turkey on the ‘Today’ show. I am all turkeyed out.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Nov. 23, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Raquel Castro (actress, “Empire”) … 29
Isaac Hanson (musician/singer, eldest of the three Hansons) … 43
Aaron Lines (country singer) … 46
Daisy Fuentes (actress) … 57
RuPaul (drag queen, singer, TV host) … 63
Danny De Vito (actor) … 79
Lorne Michaels (TV producer, “Saturday Night Live”) … 77
Martin Scorsese (film director) … 81

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m good at playing an a**hole. If you knew me better you’d know why.”

(A) Chevy Chase
(B) Alec Baldwin
(C) Danny DeVito

ANSWER: (C) Danny DeVito

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – Researchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first time humans had trapped antimatter.
* But only for a fifth of a second – so it was sort of an anticlimax.

1991 – The first TV commercial for condoms aired in the U.S. – on Fox during the sitcom “Herman’s Head.”
* “Herman’s Head”? I think you folks at home can fill in your own joke on this one.

1973 – U.S. President Nixon told an Associated Press managing editors meeting in Orlando, FL, “people have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I’m not a crook.”
* A lying, conniving megalomaniac, yes. Crook, no.

1968 – NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, “Heidi,” on schedule. The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32.
* And we promise to never, ever let them forget it.

1869 – The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean and the Red seas.
* And ushering in a millennium of peaceful prosperity in the Middle East.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2007 – The Eagles were at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Long Road Out Of Eden,” the band’s seventh studio album and first No.1 album since 1979.

2003 – 21-year-old Britney Spears became the youngest singer to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The only other performer to get a Hollywood star at her age was Little House on the Prairie actress Melissa Gilbert.

2003 – George Michael signed a new contract with the record company he took to court in 1993. The singer re-signed to Sony in a deal that included his extensive back catalog. Michael had failed in his court wrangle with Sony after accusing it of “professional slavery.”

1999 – Mariah Carey was forced to abandon a performance on Rome’s historic Spanish Steps after crowds of tourists swamped her. She took shelter in a local store before been given a police escort to safety.

1992 – At the end of a long battle to claim royalties, Jimmy Merchant and Herman Santiago (formerly of Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers) received an estimated $4 million in back payments from the song “Why Do Fools Fall In Love.”

1990 – David Crosby from Crosby Stills Nash & Young was hospitalized after breaking a leg, shoulder and ankle after crashing his Harley.

1984 – Wham! started a three-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. The average woman will do THIS 4 times more often than a man. What is it?
See a doctor

2. Almost 50% of Americans do THIS when they see a doctor. What is it?
Lie

3. Nearly 45% of people who go to the doctor are treated for THIS. What is it?
A skin disorder

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