FRIDAY, May 5 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, May 5, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: HEADLINE PARK 2023; THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CINCO DE MAYO
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“On May 5, 1862, the Mexican army defeated the French army at the Battle of Puebla. This single military battle signified defeat of a European colonial power, and a victory for the Mexican people, and became the roots of Cinco de Mayo. Note: Cinco de Mayo is not the celebration of Mexican Independence which is celebrated on September 16th. What Cinco de Mayo has come to be, is much more than one battle in the colonial history of Mexico. Rather, it has come to signify Hispanic and Mexican pride and a time to celebrate their rich culture. Today, this holiday is celebrated by Mexicans, and especially the Hispanic community in the U.S. It is a time of song, dance, partying, and in general a time to be proud to be of Hispanic descent.”

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE CUSTARD DAY

NATIONAL HOAGIE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Hoagie Day was created to give us a special day to enjoy and celebrate a big, tasty hoagie.You know of this big sandwich as a hoagie, a sub or a hero. And, it’s a regular on most diets in America. People eat them for lunch, dinner, and even as a late night snack. It’s a quick meal or people on the go. The popularity of the Hoagie sub is partly due to the diversity and variety of its contents. It can be hot or cold, luncheon meat or meatballs, and will contain o cheese, or any of a variety of cheeses. Then, the fun begins as you pile on any number and combinations of extras. Celebrate National Hoagie Day by eating a Hoagie for at least one meal or a snack. Make or buy your favorite hoagie. Or, be adventurous and try a new combination.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ED SHEERAN WINS PLAGIARISM SUIT

A federal jury in New York found that British singer Ed Sheeran did NOT steal key components of Marvin Gaye’s classic 1970s tune “Let’s Get It On” when he created his hit song “Thinking Out Loud.” As the jury gave their verdict, Sheeran briefly put his hands over his face in relief before standing and hugging his lawyer. As jurors left the courtroom, Sheeran quietly mouthed “thank you” in their direction. He then spoke for about 10 minutes with the plaintiffs, including the daughter of Ed Townsend, who co-created the 1973 soul classic with Gaye. They hugged and smiled with each other.
* What the hell? She sued you and lost. Slug her.
* The jury wasn’t so happy. They’re gonna have these songs in their heads for the next six weeks.
* Sorry, daughter of Ed Townsend, you can’t quit your job just yet.
* OK, musicians, you are now free to use Dmajor, Fsharp minor, Gmajor and Amajor, in that order. Well, maybe not musicians, but all you pop stars, you can now tell your AI it’s okay to use those chords when it writes your songs.
* Ed Sheeran said if he lost, he’d get out of the music business. But he won. I think society is the real loser here.

“STARS ON MARS” HOSTED BY WILLIAM SHATNER

Fox announced an upcoming reality TV competition “Stars on Mars.” The show “simulates a human colony on Mars,” only all the humans are celebrities – or rather, what passes for celebrities these days. The host of the show, Mission Control commander William Shatner, gives the celebrities weekly missions as they live together on a simulated Mars colony, eliminating one contestant each week. The first episode airs June 5. The celebrity cast includes:
– Cheating bike racer Lance Armstrong
– Pro wrestler Ronda Rousey
– Nepo baby Tallulah Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis
– “Modern Family” actress Ariel Winter
– Comedian Natasha Leggero
– Football player Marshawn Lynch
– “McLovin” actor Christopher Mintz-Plasse
– Figure skater Adam Rippon
– Restaurateur and TV host Tom Schwartz
– Football player and analyst Richard Sherman
– Singer/songwriter Tinashe
– Actress Porsha Williams
* So it’s Celebrity Big Brother but with more boring scenery out the window.
* 12 celebrities, so twelve “weekly challenges”? Don’t kid yourselves. I bet they filmed the whole thing in four days.
* Acting, cycling, skating, football, wrestling – all necessary skills on Mars.
* What do they say when you’ve been eliminated? Does Shatner say, “I’m sorry, you’ve been voted off the planet” and hand you a red shirt?
* Shatner’s 92, and he’s trying to hit a record of being on 92 TV shows.

THE BUZZ

FEELING GUILTY ABOUT SPENDING MONEY

Do you feel guilty when you spend money? A survey conducted by Slickdeals.net found the top things Americans feel guilty about spending money on:
1. Going out to eat
2. Clothes
3. Electronics (TV, phone, etc.)
4. Shoes
5. Ordering take out
6. Alcoholic drinks
7. Cosmetics/beauty items
8. Snacks
9. Vacation and travel
10. Hobbies
* Whew! Dodged a bullet there – they don’t list “lottery tickets.”
* No one feels guilty about getting that second face tattoo?
* Food, clothing, communication with other humans – you’re not going to make me feel guilty spending money on about basic human needs.
* You want to make me feel guilty, show me pictures of America’s crumbling schools or the disappearing rain forest in the middle of my dessert at The Cheesecake Factory.
* Feeling guilty about going out to eat AND ordering takeout? Not the way I cook.

U.S. NEWS

ANNOYING WOMAN VOTED OFF AIRPLANE BY OTHER PASSENGERS

Video posted to social media appears to show a woman being “voted” off of a Frontier Airlines flight from Trenton to Atlanta on Monday. The video, posted to TikTok by a passenger, shows a verbal altercation between a couple, a flight attendant, and another passenger sitting a few rows away. Ground crew members in orange vests eventually came on board to pull the couple off the flight, but then other passengers took a vote on whether to kick the other woman off the plane who was arguing with the couple. One man stood up and said, “If you can hear me and want her removed from the flight, raise your hand!” Several passengers raised their hands and the woman was removed by the ground crew.
* Never get into an argument on an airplane, unless you have the immunity idol. Then you can’t be kicked off the plane.
* At least they didn’t do it mid-flight.
* At least the woman didn’t start screaming “Voter fraud! Stolen election!”
* How about letting us vote to have the worst in-flight meal removed from the plane?
* Wow – arguing passengers, voting to thrown passengers off the flight, or as Frontier Airlines calls it, Monday.

UNDERWATER SPACE STATION

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and Proteus Ocean Group have agreed to jointly develop and build the first “underwater space station of the ocean” to study marine life and climate change. It will be called PROTEUS will be built off the Caribbean island of Curaçao. The new lab will allow scientists, innovators and even private citizens to live underwater for extended periods of time to study the diverse biology at the ocean floor and learn new ways to protect the ocean and Earth from climate change. There is no timeline yet for construction to begin.
* And it if doesn’t work out, they can sell it to a Bond villain.
* Scientists will be able to “study marine life and climate change,” and vacation in the Caribbean.
* “Underwater space station of the ocean” – did they think that sentence through before they announced it to the media?
* I predict it will run way, way over budget and end up … underwater.
* At least the fish will be fresh on Fridays.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

THIEVES STEAL 200 RIGHT-FOOTED SNEAKERS

Three people broke into a shoe store in central Peruvian city of Huancayo and took off with more than 200 sneakers – more than $13,000 worth — except all the shoes they took were for the right foot. They apparently stole boxes of shoes from the back, which would have contained the single mates to all of the left-footed sneakers on display in the showroom.
* Talk about getting off on the right foot.
* Usually when robbers strike, there’s nothing left, but in this case, there was everything left.
* I bet when they realized what they did, they were hopping mad.
* I’ve heard of someone having two left feet, but two right feet?
* Now there’s a big sign in the window: “All Pairs of Shoes – Half Off.”

SCHOOL KID FINDS 3700-YEAR-OLD VIKING DAGGER

While playing at her schoolyard in Vestland, Norway, (* That means WESTland, in Norwegian. Westland, Norvay.) an 8-year-old girl named Elise found a nice-looking rock among some large boulders at her school. She showed the stone to her teachers who immediately realized it was not an ordinary stone. An archaeologist identified the object as a Stone Age dagger from about 3,700 years ago. He described it as a unique and very rare find. The dagger is about 5 inches long. It has a gray-brown coloring, and distinct sharpened edges. It was given to the University Museum in Bergen for safekeeping.
* IT BELONGS IN A MUSEU— oh, okay, it IS in a museum.
* Meanwhile, the school is now cursed with the undead spirit of Fenrir for removing the dagger. But it was still a nice find.
* Her school has been designated an honorary School of Rock.
* A sharp stone they’re calling a dagger. So if you’re playing Rock, Paper, Dagger, is this a rock or a dagger?
* In Norway, this kid is celebrated. In America, she would have been expelled from school for carrying a weapon.

TRENDING

SNL CANCELS FINAL THREE SHOWS

Because of the writer’s strike, “Saturday Night Live” has canceled the remaining three episodes of the season. Scheduled to host were former cast member Pete Davidson, “Succession” star Kieran Culkin, and actress Jennifer Coolidge. The musical guests on the Jennifer Coolidge episode were going to be the Foo Fighters.

DREW BARRYMORE DROPS OUT AS HOST OF MTV MOVIE AWARDS

Another casualty of the writer’s strike: Drew Barrymore will no longer host the 2023 MTV Movie & TV Awards. The 48-year-old actress and talk show host has dropped out of hosting this year’s event in support of the ongoing Writers Guild of America strike, according to Variety. Barrymore has agreed to host next year’s awards show.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Chris Brown (hip-hopper, Rihanna-beater) … 34
Adele (Adele Laurie Blue Adkins, singer) … 35
Henry Cavill (actor, “The Witcher,” “Man of Steel”) … 40
Bill Ward (drummer w Black Sabbath) … 75
John Rhys-Davies (actor, “Indiana Jones and the … Dial of Destiny, Last Crusade) … 79
Michael Palin (comedian, actor, travel documentary host, “Monty Python”) … 80
Lance Henriksen (actor, “Better Things,” “Millennium,” ″Aliens”) … 83

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“With comedy, very often you don’t need much to get it wrong.”

(A) Adam Sandler
(B) Will Ferrell
(C) Michael Palin

ANSWER: (C) Michael Palin

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2015 – Scientists announced the discovery of the oldest and most distant galaxy ever found, EGS-zs8-1, over 13 billion light years from Earth.
* Far out! No, seriously – very, very far out there.

1994 – In a famous international incident, Singapore caned American teenager Michael Fay for vandalism, a day after the sentence was reduced from six lashes to four in response to an appeal by President Clinton, who considered the punishment too harsh.
* Too harsh for vandalism? Have you ever tried to scrub off spray-painted graffiti?

1961 – Astronaut Alan B. Shepard Jr. became America’s first space traveler as he made a 15-minute suborbital flight in a capsule launched from Cape Canaveral, FL.
* When told he was only up for 15 minutes, his wife responded, “That’s typical.”

1925 – John T. Scopes was arrested in Tennessee for teaching Darwin’s theory of evolution.
* Straight to jail – no monkeying around.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2005 – Justin Timberlake underwent an operation at Los Angeles’ Cedars Sinai Hospital to remove nodules from his throat.

2002 – Kenny Chesney was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “No Shoes, No Shirt.”

2000 – Rod Stewart had a one-hour throat operation at Cedar Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles to remove a growth on his thyroid. The growth turned out to be benign.

1995 – Former Guns N’ Roses drummer Steven Adler was arrested on a felony count of possession of heroin, as well as two misdemeanor drug charges.

1979 – Peaches and Herb started a four-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Reunited.”

1968 – Buffalo Springfield split up. Richie Fury formed Poco and Stephen Stills teamed up with David Crosby and Graham Nash in Crosby Stills & Nash.

1963 – On a recommendation by George Harrison, Dick Rowe, Head of A&R at Decca records, (and the man who turned down The Beatles), went to see The Rolling Stones play at the Crawdaddy Club, London. The band was signed to the label within a week.

1956 – Elvis Presley scored his first U.S. No.1 single and album when “Heartbreak Hotel” went to the top of the charts.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 46% of people surveyed agreed that middle age officially begins when you can no longer do THIS. What is it?
Identify the artists on the radio

2. People over 40 are three times as likely to have THIS in their home compared to people under 40. What is it?
A phone book

3. The average American will do THIS for the first time at age 47. What is it?
Become a grandparent

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