FRIDAY, May 23 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, May 23, 2025
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NOTE: MORNING SIDEKICK WILL BE OFF ON MONDAY, MAY 26 FOR THE U.S. MEMORIAL DAY HOLIDAY. WE WILL RETURN WITH PREP FOR TUESDAY, MAY 27

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE – FINAL WRECKINGTHINGS; THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing – including “holidays” created by the National Day Calendar and Wellcat websites to drive traffic to their websites – or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year. We present only those specially designated days we feel your listeners would find most interesting or significant.)

DON’T FRY DAY
Don’t Fry Day is observed on the Friday before Memorial Day to raise awareness about the dangers of sun exposure and promote sun safety. It encourages people to protect their skin from harmful UV rays by using sunscreen, wearing protective clothing, and seeking shade.

NATIONAL TAFFY DAY

WORLD TURTLE DAY
Wikipedia says this:
“The purpose of World Turtle Day, May 23, sponsored yearly since 2000 by American Tortoise Rescue, is to bring attention to, and increase knowledge of and respect for, turtles and tortoises, and encourage human action to help them survive and thrive.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbecue Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

THE BUZZAUDIO: I DATED AN IDIOT

Reddit asked, “When did you realize you were dating an idiot?” Some of the responses:
– “He thought you absorb a gallon of water when you shower, so he didn’t need to drink water.”
– “She preheated the microwave.”
– “She ran the dishwasher without putting in any soap.”
– “I had a partner who stacked cups when putting them in the dishwasher.”
– “When he said he’d make pancakes and then put the dry powder directly in the hot pan.”
– “My wife would bring stuff home that said ‘refrigerate after opening,’ open it, and put it in the refrigerator.”
– “We were doing a ‘fun fact about me’ icebreaker in a group and his was ‘I’ve never read a book.'”
– “They thought turtles took off their shells to ‘make love.'”
– “He thought an egg came out when someone finished their period. Like…a chicken egg.”
– “When my ex asked me where they grew spaghetti.”
– “When he missed his daily medication, he threw it out instead of just saving it for the next day.”
– “She refused to pay taxes, have a bank account, or pay for public transit. She told me, ‘I change my name every few years so they can’t find me.’ She’d go to the government and change her name, legally, so the government couldn’t find her.”
– “She didn’t know that yogurt and pudding were not the same thing. She thought it was like how the British call fries ‘chips.’ She had been eating pudding and granola for breakfast for months and congratulating herself for being so healthy.”
– “She walked into a computer lab on campus and simply picked up a computer and walked home with it. She literally thought the computers were free for students. It took a bit of explaining to convince her that she stole the computer. I made her return the computer to the lab that night; she left it at the doorstep.”
– “She said playing basketball makes you taller. Her proof was all the tall people playing basketball.”
– “We live in central Alabama. She told me that she and her best friend were going to Birmingham for the weekend. She came over that Sunday night to tell me how disappointed she was with the trip. They had driven through all of the wealthier neighborhoods in Birmingham, Alabama, for two days trying to find a house that matched the gates to Ozzy Osborne’s house and never found it. He lives in Birmingham, England.”
* PHONE TOPIC: I dated an idiot.
CLIP: If you want, here is a clip of Jon Stewart shouting, “Oh no you didn’t!” that might work for some of these.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/Oh-No-You-Didnt_JonStewart(dot)mp3

TOP TEN BEACHES WITH THE HIGHEST LEVELS OF BACTERIA

Heading for the beach this weekend? A new study from the Surfrider Foundation found that 80% of beaches they studied produced “at least one high bacteria result that exceeded state health standards.” The rankings are based on 10,210 water samples from the beaches they tested. The number indicates the percentage of samples from that body of water that failed to meet state health codes for beaches.
Here are Surfriders Top 10 “Beach Bacteria Hot Spots”:
1. Kahalu’u in Kahalu’u, O’ahu, Hawai‘i — 92%
2. Park View Kayak Launch in Miami Beach, Florida — 90%
3. Waikomo Stream at Koloa Landing in Poipu, Kaua‘i, Hawai‘i — 90%
4. Imperial Beach in San Diego, California — 82%
5. Linda Mar Beach in Pacifica, California — 71%
6. South Sound Thea Foss Floating Dock in Tacoma, Washington — 64%
7. Ballard Park in Melbourne, Florida — 52%
8. Windmill Beach in Sag Harbor, New York — 43%
9. San Luis Creek Mouth in Avila Beach, California — 38%
10. Playa Crashboat in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico — 23%
* Because of all the bacteria, San Luis Creek Mouth also has bad breath.
* No wonder surfing is popular – everyone wants to stay out of the water.
* So they didn’t check any beaches in New Jersey?
* Only one beach can be number one, but apparently lots of beaches can claim Number 2.
* Thanks for ruining my weekend plans. Now do the beaches with lots of dog doo.

U.S. NEWS

ANIMAL RESCUERS DRESS AS BEARS TO RAISE CUB

Back in April, campers in California’s Los Padres National Forest found a tiny black bear cub alone and crying, his mother nowhere in sight. He was less than two months old and weighed about three pounds. They reported him to the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, who determined he couldn’t survive on his own in the wild, so he was brought to San Diego Humane Society’s Ramona Wildlife Center. The plan is to teach him how to be a bear and release him into the wild. To do this, when staff interact with the cub, they wear a head-to-toe bear costume – a realistic bear mask and an oversize fur coat, as well as leather gloves. They also rub black-bear-scented hay they got from a local sanctuary all over. His rooms are filled with leaves, dirt and branches. (* So’s MY house!) They also place stuffed bears around the habitat, and the cub often cuddles up with the large one. (* Just like MY house!) They say he has learned how to explore his habitat, dig through dirt to get insects, find shelter and make a nest.
* And, being California, skateboarding.
* Bear nest-essities.
* They’ve really committed to this bear costume. Beards, leather outfit, pride tattoos… the works.
* Does he have any reaction when they show him Charmin bathroom tissue?
* Just keep the bear away from the cocaine, and everything will be fine.

THE U.S. MAKES NO CENTS

The penny is definitely going away. The US Mint is going to stop making new ones within a year. The Treasury Department this month ordered its last “blanks” from which the pennies are made, and it won’t make any more once those blanks are gone, which is expected to be in early 2026. People will still be able to use pennies as long as they have them. But as the supply continues to shrink, stores will likely have to start adjusting their pricing.
* So they’re either going to have to adjust the price down to the nearest nickel or up to the nearest dime. I wonder which direction they’ll go? I wonder…
* Are gas pumps still going to keep that 9/10ths thing going? Or are the billionaires going to keep all that money, too?
* Will J.C. Penney change it’s name to J.C. Quarters? No sense in waiting for nickels and dimes to disappear.
* Now the $2 bill is getting worried. (And yes, the US still prints $2 bills!)

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

LINER CAPTAIN DIES MID-CRUISE

The captain of a major cruise liner died during an almost month-long voyage around Asia. Captain Michele Bartolomei, a 25-year veteran of cruise ships, was captaining Princess Cruises’ the Diamond Princess when he died suddenly on Monday following what was described as a medical emergency. ( * And suddenly, clams were off the menu at the all-you-can-eat buffet.) Another captain was brought in so the cruise could continue. The ship was on a 19-day Southern Islands Explorer voyage to locations including Japan and Korea. The ship was docked at Keelung, Taiwan at the time of his death.
* Well, actually, the ship was ON the dock at Keelung, Taiwan when he died. That was their first clue.
* I’ve been on cruises. It’s not like he died from all the excitement.
* He kept calling out “Doc! Doc!” and the first mate said, “Yes, I know, there’s the dock, right there. Pull up next to it.”
* The Diamond Princess? More like the DYIN’ Princess.
* Time to go back to annual physicals.

TRENDING

RILEY GREEN SHAVES HIS MUSTACHE

Horror of horrors, country singer Riley Green has shaved off his famous mustache. Riley was almost unrecognizable in a new photo after revealing the look on his Instagram. He captioned it, “Never let em know your next move…” Fans are deeply divided. Some wrote, “Nooooo” and another said, “Much better lol.”

JELLY ROLL GOES TO JAIL…TO TALK TO THE INMATES

On Tuesday, Jelly Roll made a stop at Hennepin County Jail ahead of his concert at U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis. He was there to talk to the inmates, and tell them how he turned his life around after spending much of his youth behind bars. He says he was first criminally charged at 13 years old and then spent the next 13 years in and out of prison. He later got his GED in jail. Jelly Roll told the inmates he “didn’t go home to become rich and famous,” but he “wanted to be the dad I didn’t have.” Before he left, Sheriff Dawanna Witt gave Jelly Roll a commemorative key to the jail.

P. DIDDY TRIAL: THURSDAY, MAY 22

Here are some details from Sean “Diddy” Combs’ sex-and-drug trafficking trial on Thursday:
– George Kaplan, Combs’ former assistant, continued his testimony Thursday, relating a story about the time he saw Cassie Ventura lying on the floor “on her back,” just after screaming “Isn’t anybody seeing this?” during a violent incident aboard Combs’ private jet in 2015. Kaplan testified that no one, including security, intervened.
– Perhaps most interesting was the news that Sean “Diddy” Combs likes applesauce on everything. Kaplan testified that Combs’ staff used a black AMEX card to buy everything the music mogul requested, including baby oil, yacht leases, villas, and applesauce. “Mr. Combs loves applesauce and eats it on the side or on top of a lot of things,” Kaplan said. “Cheeseburgers?” asked the defense attorney? “Cheeseburgers being one of them,” Kaplan said.
– Rapper Kid Cudi — whose real name is Scott Mescudi — told a Manhattan federal jury on Thursday that Sean “Diddy” Combs broke into his Los Angeles home after the hip-hop mogul found out he was dating R&B singer Cassie Ventura. Christmas gifts that Kid Cudi had gotten for his family were unwrapped and opened, and his dog was shut in the bathroom during the December 2011 break-in, he testified.
– Cudi said he reached out to Sean “Diddy” Combs a few days after his car was bombed with a Molotov Cocktail “because I knew he had something to do with it.” He wanted to meet with Combs, which they did at SoHo House in Hollywood. Mescudi says he was escorted into the room by Combs’ security guard and Combs was “staring out the window with his hands behind his back like a Marvel supervillain.” Combs told him that Cassie was his girl, Mescudi said. “I let him know she told me they were broken up and I took her word for it.” At the end, Mescudi and Combs shook hands and Mescudi asked, looking him straight in the eyes while holding his hand: “What are we going to do about my car?” He said Combs looked back and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 26, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Saturday – Flag Day
June 15, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Friday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:42 P.M. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

LaMonica Garrett (actor, “1883,” “Designated Survivor,” “Sons of Anarchy”) … 50
Jewel (singer/songwriter, born Juel Kilcher) … 51
Matt Flynn (drummer with Maroon 5) … 55
Phil Selway (drummer with Radiohead) … 58
Melissa McBride (actress, “The Walking Dead”) … 60
Drew Carey (comedian, sitcom actor, “The Price Is Right” host) … 67
Joan Collins (actress) … 92

Today’s Birthdays grade: A comedian turned sitcom star turned game show host, the nighttime soap star actress who costarred in that really good Star Trek episode who’s turning 92 AND starring in a new movie, a pretty big 90s-00s singer-songwriter, drummers and TV stars … probably nobody you would set your DVR to record if they were on a talk show tonight. Grade: C-plus.

[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m always looking for things that are different, unexpected. I don’t like doing the normal, usual things. I get bored easily.”

(A) Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell
(B) Ozzy Osbourne
(C) Drew Carey

ANSWER: (C) Drew Carey

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2003 – Congress sent President George W. Bush a $330 billion package of tax cuts – the third of his presidency.
* We got a lot more money back from our taxes, and then gas prices immediately started rising.

1988 – The first couple to be married underwater got hitched using diver’s hand signals.
* Now that they’ve been married awhile, you should see the hand signals they give each other.

1955 – The Presbyterian Church began allowing female ministers.
* Why not? Women are so much better at making you feel guilty.

1934 – In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were killed by Texas Rangers. The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe.
* The Rangers added air conditioning.

1903 – The first automobile trip across the United States, began, from San Francisco to New York (the trip was completed on July 26).
* The hard part was that jump across the Grand Canyon.

1785 – Benjamin Franklin announced his invention of bifocals.
* Locals thought he was squirrelly as they heard him asking himself “Is it better now … or now? Now … or NOW? Is that better? Or is THAT better?”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2006 – The King of Sweden presented the surviving members of Led Zeppelin with the Polar Music Prize in Stockholm recognizing them as “great pioneers” of rock music. Robert Plant, Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones were joined by the daughter of drummer John Bonham, who died in 1980. The Polar Music Prize was founded in 1989 by Stig Anderson, manager of Swedish pop group ABBA who named it after his record label, Polar Records.

2000 – Billy Corgin of Smashing Pumpkins announced that the Seattle-based rock group would officially break up at year’s end. Corgan claimed that he and his bandmates were tired of “fighting the good fight against the Britneys of the world.”

1991 – Photographer Michael Lavine took what would be the publicity shots for Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album at Jay Aaron Studios in Los Angeles. The idea for the front cover shot of the baby swimming was taken after Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl saw a TV documentary on water babies and was taken by Kirk Weddle. Several babies were used; five-month old Spencer Elden’s photo came out best. In 2021, the adult Elden sued the band claiming they violated federal child pornography statutes and argued child sexual exploitation. A federal court in California dismissed a lawsuit with a judge ruling Elden had filed his complaint after the 10-year statute of limitations had expired.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. The average person will eat about 33 of THESE a year. What are they?
Donuts

2. According to recent statistics, the average person eats 21 of THESE a year. What are they?
Onions

3. 75% of adults eat one of THESE per year. What is it?
A grilled cheese sandwich

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