FRIDAY, June 9 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, June 9, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

DONALD DUCK DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Happy Birthday, Donald. We hope that Daisy Duck bakes you your favorite cake! Donald Duck Day in honor of Donald Duck’s cartoon debut. Donald first appeared in ‘The Wise Hen’ on June 9, 1934. While Donald is pretty old, he doesn’t act a day over 20. Donald is one of Disney’s most famous and popular characters. Did you Know? Donald has a middle name. Donald F. Duck’s middle name is “Fauntleroy.” Enjoy Donald Duck Day in front of the television watching Donald, along with all of his family and friends.”

NATIONAL STRAWBERRY-RHUBARB PIE DAY

June is:

NATIONAL DJ MONTH – Yeah!
National Adopt a Cat / Adopt a Shelter Cat Month
African-American Music / Black Music Appreciation Month
Corn Month
Great Outdoors Month / National Camping Month
International Men’s Month
Lemon Month
LGBTQIA Pride Month
National Candy Month
National Fresh Fruit & Vegetables Month
National Iced Tea Month
National Rose Month
National Seafood Month
Women’s Golf Month

THE BUZZAUDIO: THE SONG EVERYBODY WANTS TO LEARN ON GUITAR

When you’re learning how to play guitar, what’s the song most people want to learn how to play? A new bit of research, put together by UkuleleWorld.com, gathered average monthly searches for lessons on 1,000 popular tracks on guitar. The top three choices are:
1. “Wonderwall” by Oasis, which receives a reported 15,620 average monthly searches
2. Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama,” with 14,705 searches per month
3. Vance Joy’s “Riptide,” with 11,519 searches
* “Sweet Home Alabama.” Good. Start with something easy.
* Sorry, but can we really trust a website called “Ukulele World”?
* It’s like a list of piano songs put together by a website called “Planet Accordion.”
* Remember how every guitar teacher in the world would try to make you learn “House of the Rising Sun”, and it was impossible so you gave up the guitar? Good times.
* It’s old advice, but it’s true: if you want to learn guitar, play along with any Neil Young song. Doesn’t matter what chord you hit, it will always sound right, guaranteed.
CLIP: A bit of “Wonderwall”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/Wonderwall-Oasis(dot)
CLIP: A bit of “Sweet Home Alabama”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/SweetHomeAlabama-LynyrdSkynyrd(dot)mp3
CLIP: A bit of “Riptide”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/Riptide-VanceJoy(dot)mp3

U.S. NEWS

MAN BOOBY TRAPS HIS HOME, INCLUDING A COOL INDIANA JONES-TYPE TRAP

A 71-year-old man in Oregon is facing federal prison time for rigging his home with booby traps. Gregory Lee Rodvelt had lost his home in WIlliams, Oregon in a lawsuit in 2018. However, it was learned that Rodvelt had returned to the home since losing it and placed a sign in front of the house stating that it was protected by “improvised devices.” Bomb technicians responded to the property and found a plethora – PLETHORA – of booby traps, including:
– A minivan obstructing the gate, with a steel animal trap underneath the hood.
– Steel animal traps attached to a gate post
– Spike strips in the driveway
– A wheelchair, which, when inadvertently moved by one of the agents, triggered a homemade shotgun device that injured one of the bomb squad members in the leg.
– A rat trap modified to accommodate a shotgun shell, connected to the main garage door, designed to activate when the door was opened.
– Best of all… there was fishing line and a tripwire across the property gate that went to a round hot tub on its side up a hill. Upon hitting the tripwire, it was set to roll down the hill and hit whoever came through the gate. Mr. Rodvelt later described it as “like the stone rolling down in the Indiana Jones Movie.”
* We’re never going to see it, but I bet video of that one was a hit at the bomb squad Christmas party.
* Even Wile E. Coyote was impressed.
* It could be repurposed as a really dangerous Haunted House.
* No poison darts? No snakes? No rats? No quicksand? I am disappointed.
* I hope the home’s next owner has quick reflexes.

BEAR EQUIPPED WITH CAMERA TO SPY ON CONNECTICUT COUPLE

Last week a Connecticut couple filed a lawsuit against the state’s Department of Environmental Protection, accusing the department of violating their Fourth Amendment rights by attaching a camera to a bear to spy on their property without a warrant. Mark and Carol Brault allege the department affixed a camera to the bear and released it near their land earlier this year, effectively turning the bear into an agent of the state to take pictures on their property without a warrant. The allegations come amid an ongoing lawsuit against the Braults accusing them of unlawfully feeding bears on their property. An attorney with the Institute for Justice released a statement saying “Government agents equipping bears with cameras and releasing them to spy on citizens is an un-bear-ably (* har!) intrusive tactic that tramples on the Constitution. Turning wild animals into roving surveillance tools violates our fundamental right to be secure on our property. It’s an outrageous overreach, and we’re glad to hear the Braults are fighting to stop the tactic in its tracks.”
* The agent who tied the camera to the bear is expected to apologize, after he gets out of the hospital.
* Connecticut’s too cheap to buy a $30 drone?
* On the plus side, the bearcam alerted agents to a huge bale of cocaine.
* This couple who keeps feeding the bears illegally – I’d think this would be a problem that eventually solves itself.
* Don’t you love nature photography?

HELP WANTED: CHEESE EATERS

The University of Wisconsin’s Center for Dairy Research is looking for cheese tasters to taste cheese, pizza and other dairy products. The job listing says they will “train you to become part of a group of expert tasters capable of verbally describing their sensory experience on the basis of appearance, texture, taste and aroma.” They say to expect to be tasting up to 24 cheese samples and 12 pizzas a week, along with other food products, in up to 3 sessions per week.
* And they say no perfect job exists.
* Three sessions per week, a cholesterol test monthly.
* Wait – 24 cheeses and 12 pizzas a week? I’ve got that beat, slackers.
* “Describe the aroma of this cheese.” “Like my dorm room. So’s this cheese. So’s this one. So’s this one…”
* Humans have been making cheese for about 9,000 years, but with the help of the University of Wisconsin’s Center for Dairy Research, we might soon get it right.

THE WORLD’S MOST LUXURIOUS HOTEL SUITE

Next time you’re visiting Houston and need a place to stay, skip the Motel 6 and head over to the Post Oak Hotel. The Post Oak has what is billed as the fanciest hotel suite in the world: It’s 22,000-square-feet, takes up two floors, and boasts a prized 360-degree city view (* of Houston? Whatever.) It features a half-basketball court, private helipad access, a golf simulator, a game room, private gym, and wine cellar. There’s a movie screening room with leather lounge chairs, popcorn machine, candy bar and stocked fridge. There’s an eight-person sauna, steam room and spa treatment room (guests receive four complimentary treatments per stay). And an infinity pool. You also get a personal butler, a personal concierge, a Bentley chauffeur and a sommelier. The cost: $125,000 a night, minimum two nights.
* Yeah, it’s the freakin’ popcorn machine that really kicks the price up.
* Yet if you take a towel or two when you leave, they’re gonna charge you extra.
* This is great but, like any hotel, you’re still not going to want to walk barefoot on the carpet. Ick.
* Here’s how fancy it is: the “Sanitized for your protection” strip on the toilet is made from 100% Japanese silk.
* People who have stayed there say it’s wonderful, except that the air conditioner in the window rattles.

LONGEST-SERVING STATE WORKER DIES AT 103

California’s oldest and longest-serving state employee has died. May Lee — who spent nearly 80 years working in civil service — died on May 26. She would’ve turned 103 on June 28. Lee began her career in 1943 as an accountant for the California Department of Finance. She was the first Chinese American hired by the department, and she served 10 different governors. When the Department of General Services was created in 1963, Lee switched over and helped build the department from the ground up. She wrote procedures, created codes and designed systems that are still in use today. Her job involved saving the state of California millions of dollars every year through audits and analyzing budgets. She slacked off a bit starting in 1990, working just four days a week until her death.
* Don’t give Joe Biden any ideas, okay?
* She’s being replaced by some young whippersnapper who’s 78.
* With her gone, California’s really gonna be in a REAL financial mess now, huh?
* She goes so far back in government, she invented the phrase, “You want that? Go fill out this form.”
* She tried switching over to a highway road crew in her mid-80’s, but that only lasted a couple of weeks.

AUDIO: MAN CREATES HIS OWN MICROCOUNTRY: SLOWJAMISTAN

Every want to rule over your own country? This man did. A late-night “slow jams” DJ from San Diego, California, named Randy “R Dub!” Williams, likes to travel. He’s visited every single UN-recognized country in the world. And he decided that wasn’t enough, so in October 2021, he paid $19,000 for a plot of desert off California State Route 78, a two-and-a-half-hour drive northwest of San Diego, named it Slowjamastan, declared its independence, and declared himself the “Sultan of Slowjamistan.” Mr. Williams has erected a large “Welcome to Slowjamastan” sign by the highway and flies the colorful Slowjamastan flag above his official office, which is just a desk sitting out in the open. The Republic issues its own passports, prints its own currency (called “the duble”), and has a national anthem that Williams plays on state occasions (see clip below). He says his country has over 500 registered citizens (sign up online!), while 4,500 more have been conditionally approved or are waiting in line for citizenship (slowjamistan.org). He’s outlawed the wearing of Crocs, “mumble rap” and “people who put their feet on the dashboard.” His next grand plan is to raise enough funds to build “a lazy river, an armadillo farm, and all-you-can-eat Mongolian BBQ.”
* Yes, it’s his little joke. An expensive little joke.
* A late-night slow-jam DJ who travels the world and bought a $19,000 plot of desert. So, he’s a trust fund baby?
* It won’t be so funny when 3,000 Guatemalans come seeking political asylum.
* Trump wants to know if they have an extradition treaty with the U.S.
* Winter Olympics are coming up. Does he have a ski team?
CLIP: A bit of the Slowjamistan National Anthem. It sounds familiar, but I can’t quite place it.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/SlowjamistanNationalAnthem_edit(dot)mp3

TRENDINGBILL MURRAY AND… KELIS?

Can this be true? Tabloids are reporting that singer Kelis – the “milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” singer – is dating Bill Murray. Kelis is 43, Murray is 72. According to the US Sun, the two sparked romance rumors after Murray watched the singer perform at a recent show at the Mighty Hoopla festival in South London last weekend. He was also spotted supporting her at some of her other performances. Sources say they were also seen together at the same hotel and have been “getting close for a while. But they’ve also both shared relatively recent bereavements and have that common bond between them.”

ROBERT DE NIRO GETTING “DE NIROCON” FOR 80TH BIRTHDAY

Robert De Niro is getting his very own convention in honor of his 80th birthday later this year. The actor will be commemorated at the Tribeca Film Festival — an event that he founded in 2002 — with a three-day celebration of his work. While his birthday is actually on Aug. 17, the festivities will go down from Sept. 29 until Oct. 1. The party has been nicknamed “De Niro Con” and will feature movie screenings, panels, musical concerts, film set re-creations and more — all pertaining to De Niro’s lifelong Hollywood career.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)
July 4, Tuesday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Natalie Portman (actress) … 42
Gloria Reuben (actress, “City on a Hill,” “Mr. Robot,” “E.R.”) … 59
Johnny Depp (actor) … 60
Michael J. Fox (actor) … 62
Donald Duck (Disney cartoon character) … 89

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Awards are so unnecessary because I think we get so much out of our work just by doing it. The work is a reward in itself.”

(A) Kanye West
(B) Taylor Swift
(C) Natalie Portman

ANSWER: (C) Natalie Portman

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1980 – Comedian Richard Pryor set himself ablaze while free-basing.
* The more sensational parts of this event were later stolen by Penn & Teller for their stage show.

1978 – The highest price ever to date was paid for a single book, when the University of Texas paid $2.4-million for a Gutenberg Bible.
* Idiots! There’s a toll free number you can call to get a Bible sent to you for FREE!

1940 – The US Congress authorized employers to withhold funds for employees’ income taxes from their paychecks.
* And if you didn’t go along with the scheme, you could pretty much count on the IRS coming to audit your company’s books for the past thirty years.

1934 – The Disney cartoon character Donald Duck appeared for the first time, in a “Silly Symphony” cartoon called “The Wise Little Hen,” which was released on this day.
* He made millions for Disney, but they still haven’t bought him a pair of pants.

1902 – The first “automat” opened, in Philadelphia. It was the forerunner of the modern day vending-machine cafeteria.
* On the upside, there’s no waitresses to tip. On the downside, there’s no waitresses to hit up on.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2002 – It was announced that Rolling Stone Mick Jagger was to be given a knighthood for his services to music.

1994 – After an argument, TLC singer Left Eye set fire to her boyfriend’s Atlanta mansion, worth $2 million, burning it to the ground. She was charged with arson and fined $10,000 with five years’ probation.

1990 – M.C. Hammer’s debut album started a record-breaking 21-week stay at the top of the U.S. album charts, making it the longest uninterrupted stay at the top since the album charts started.

1990 – Michael Jackson was admitted to a hospital with a mystery illness. It was later diagnosed as an inflamed cartilage in his rib cage.

1990 – Wilson Phillips went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Hold On.” 25 years earlier to the day Wendy and Carnies’ father Beach Boy Brian Wilson had been at No.1 with “Help Me Rhonda.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 60% of people don’t know how to properly do THIS. What is it?
Jump start a car

2. The number of households with one of THESE has increased by 86% in the last 10 years. What is it?
A turtle

3. The average person swallows 2 and half gallons of THIS over their lifetime. What is it?
Pool water

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