FRIDAY, July 28 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, July 28, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BUFFALO SOLDIERS DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“Buffalo Soldiers Day is observed annually on July 28th. This day commemorates the formation in 1866 of the first regular Army regiments comprising African-American soldiers. ‘Buffalo Soldiers’ (one of many African-American regiments raised during the Civil War) were established by Congress as the first peacetime all-black regiments in the regular U.S. Army. The segregated regiments were disbanded during the 1940’s and 1950’s as the U.S. armed forces embraced integration.”

NATIONAL INTERN DAY

NATIONAL MILK CHOCOLATE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Milk Chocolate Day is a special day for a special treat. Are you a choco-holic? If you are, you look forward to each and every chocolate-related holiday. There are lots of flavors of chocolate. Milk chocolate is enjoyed in candies and in baking and is the favorite of millions of people. So, its only fitting that it gets its very own special national day. Important Note: Don’t be dyslexic about this special day. Today is a day for Milk Chocolate, not Chocolate Milk Day. Lest there be any doubt about celebrating this day … Today should be spent consuming and savoring generous amounts of your favorite milk chocolate treats. Happy National Milk Chocolate Day!”

TALK IN AN ELEVATOR DAY – The last Friday of July
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“We all know about that awkward silence, the one that ensues when you’re suddenly in a small room with 5-10 other people you don’t know. Politeness seems to indicate that the people around you are sworn to silence, that perhaps it’s rude to break the sacred silence that is the elevator ride. Talk In An Elevator Day tells us to break that silence, and maybe make a new friend or business acquaintance. Who knows what can come of just speaking up and introducing yourself?”

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month
Wild About Wildlife Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

DISNEYLAND ADDS MORE BOOZE

Disneyland is adding more places in the park where you can purchase beer, wine and cocktails from the theme park’s restaurants. The popular River Belle Terrace, Carnation Café and Café Orleans will now offer alcoholic beverages. Prior to 2019, Disneyland was considered a “dry” park, with no alcohol on premises. But that changed when Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge opened, which included the park’s first bar: Oga’s Cantina.
* Good for Disney – because booze is where the real money is.
* You now have to blow into a balloon before you can ride Autopia.
* Splash Mountain is now A Splash Of Vermouth Mountain.
* The Tiki Room is now the Tiki Bar Room.
* Onsite hotel rooms will now have Minnie bars.
* Drink enough, and you’ll feel goofy.
* They’d make a fortune if they’d sell shots just before boarding “It’s A Small World.”

THE BUZZ

BARBIE BECOMING LITMUS TEST FOR BOYFRIENDS

Now that the “Barbie” movie has taken over the world, women have posting about how disappointed they are that their partner didn’t understand the movie, particularly issues like body image and gender roles. One woman wrote, “He told me that he was really offended by the movie and said that it was the kind of thing I should have watched with my girlfriends and not him. We broke up.” So now, one TikTok user, @swagaliciousvr0, says that taking a boyfriend to see Barbie “should be your relationship test to decide if he’s a potential long-term partner.” Her criteria:
– How does he react when you tell him you want to go with him?
– What are his thoughts on why certain things are happening in the movie?
– How does he feel about [Allan]?
– What are his thoughts on the montage at the end?
– What are his feelings on the way Ken was portrayed?
– Is he interested in having an intellectual conversation about the message afterwards? I think these are all very important things that will give you a crystal clear image of what his character is.
She ends with, “If you’re testing your relationship, take him to see Barbie. If you’re going on a first date, take him to see Barbie. All men should see Barbie.”
* “P.S. – I am in no way associated with the marketing department behind ‘Barbie.”
* So, where on the internet do we go to find the correct answers to all these questions?
* Meh. Just tell her “I can’t support Barbie. I’m Team Bratz.”
* That’s fine, but my girlfriend has to sit through “Spider-Man; Across the Spider-Verse” with me. And there will be a quiz at the end.

PEAK DINNERTIME IN THE U.S.

The United States Bureau of Labor Statistics has compiled data on when Americans in each state eat their dinner, and the results might surprise you. (* Yeah, if you’re a weirdo who eats dinner at 8 in the morning.) A small percentage of Americans are eating dinner as early as 3:30 p.m. and as late as midnight. The vast majority, though, are eating dinner between 5:07 p.m. and 8:19 p.m., according to survey data. The peak time for dinner eating is 6:19 p.m. (* So, during the commercial break before Final Jeopardy.)
– The earliest peak dinnertime is Pennsylvania at 5:37 pm.
– The latest peak dinnertime by state is Washington, D.C., whose peak dinnertime is 7:10.
* Do we really want to be revealing this information to our enemies? Now they know the best time to attack us, right between “Come and get it” and “Pass the butter.”
* “The vast majority are eating dinner between 5:07 p.m. and 8:19 p.m.” Eating dinner for over three hours? No wonder Americans are getting heavier.
* If this is a “Labor Statistic,” they should include the time it takes to cook the damn dinner.
* Do these numbers take into account the vast number of grandparents eating the earlybird special at Golden Corral?

U.S. NEWS

CALIFORNIA FAMILY CHARGED WITH $7.6 MILLION RECYCLING SCAM

Remember the “Seinfeld” episode where Kramer and Newman figured out they could redeem empty bottles and cans in Michigan for an extra five cents each? A California family is accused of pulling a similar scam by hauling cans and bottles from Arizona back to California to take advantage of the state’s recycling program. Plastic bottles and aluminum cans in California cost an extra 5 to 10 cents, which consumers can get back by returning the items to one of the state’s more than 1,200 recycling centers. The eight family members are accused of hauling 178 tons of Arizona cans and bottles over an 8 month period and recycling them in California for the deposit money. The operation earned the family $7.6 million. Felony grand theft in California is punishable by up to three years in state prison, but the degree to which the group was doing it could increase the sentence by another three years.
* And I hear Arizona is demanding the return of the 178 tons of garbage.
* Caught in a recycling scam ’cause – WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!
* The joke’s on the family – they probably spent more than $7.6 million on gas driving the bottles across state lines.
* Now they’re all going in the can.

AUDIO: POLICE SEEK BANANA TOSSER

Police in Tilden, Pennsylvania, are searching for the suspect or suspects who recently threw frozen bananas at five vehicles along the Hex Highway. Police say people in a car traveling westbound threw frozen bananas and struck windshields and other parts of cars traveling west. One of the victims had a dashcam and was able to record video of the banana attack.
* They threw the bananas, and split. Yup, peeled out.
* Police are appealing to the public for information.
* But they never go after the banana stand that sells those dangerous things to the unlicensed public.
* Bananas should be sold individually, not in a high-capacity bunch.
* Coulda been worse. Coulda been frozen turkeys.
CLIP: Mrs. Doubtfire: “It was a run-by fruiting.”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/Doubtfire-RunByFruiting(dot)mp3

TRADER JOE’S SOUP RECALL

Trader Joe’s has announced another recall. The chain’s Unexpected Broccoli Cheddar Soup is being recalled in seven states because, according to a report from the Food and Drug Administration, “the product has insects in the frozen broccoli florets.” The recall affects the 20-ounce product in Florida, Illinois, California, Texas, Washington, Pennsylvania and Connecticut. Trader Joe’s made headlines just a couple of days ago after recalling two cookie products after discovering they might contain rocks.
* “Unexpected Broccoli Cheddar Soup.” Coming from trader Joe’s, I might have called it “Expected Broccoli Cheddar Soup.”
* They maybe should call it “Unexpected Protein Broccoli Cheddar Soup.”
* Decades checking billions of broccoli florets across the country, and the FDA finally hit paydirt.
* The recall is for soup in seven states. I’m sure the soup in the other 43 states is fine. Just fine.
* On the bright side, remember – vegetables in Trader Joe’s products never contain pesticides.
* Trader Joe’s is now asking if anybody wants to trade supermarkets.

AM RADIO IN EVERY CAR! YAY!

On Thursday, the Senate Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee voted to advance the AM Radio for Every Vehicle Act, a bill that would require all cars to come with AM radio as standard. What’s perhaps most unusual about the bill is that is has bipartisan support – both Democrats and Republicans are behind it. The only peoplle not behind it are the car manufacturers, who tried to drop standard AM radio from the models. Among other things, they claim it is difficult and expensive to shield radio electronics from the electromagnetic fields generated by electric car systems. The bill requires automakers to maintain AM broadcast radio in their vehicles without a separate or additional payment, fee, or surcharge. U.S. Senator Ed Markey (D-Massachusetts) said in a statement. “AM radio is an essential communication tool during emergencies, and for decades has been a source of news, entertainment, sports, and music for tens of millions of drivers.”
* And we’ve almost got that whole “fades under bridges” thing worked out. Really.
* The only political disagreement was that the Democrats want more stations on the left side of the dial, and Republicans want more on the right side.
* Some of the older senators also pushed for 8-track tape decks, but they were voted down.
* Senators, on behalf of all Americans, thank you for raising the cost of every car in America the price of an AM tuner.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

BRITISH RESTAURANT HAS A 4-YEAR WAIT LIST

A restaurant in England has been named the toughest restaurant in the world to get a table – it has a 4-year wait list. The Bank Tavern, located in Bristol, is two and a half hours from London. The wait list applies to its Sunday Lunch, where they serve 30-day aged rare beef, a slow-cooked pork belly, a honey and rosemary roasted leg of lamb, maple Sriracha glazed pork belly, a vegetable lentil loaf, Greek squid balls and masoor dahl pakoras.
* A quick internet search finds that masoor dahl pakoras is just a fancy name for fried bean fritters.
* No wonder there’s a four-year wait. Do you know how hard it is to get squid balls? The squids don’t like it one bit.
* “Hello? I need to cancel a reservation I made three and a half years ago. We just broke up.”
* Imagine you wait four years, you finally get a table and the waiter says to you, “I’m sorry, but all we have left today is vegetable lentil loaf.”
* When they call you to say your table is ready, be sure to tell them if anyone in your party has died in the meantime.
* What I’m hearing is, if customers are willing to put up with this to get in, the other restaurants in London must really, really suck.

TRENDING

FOX MOVING EMMY AWARDS TO JANUARY

Fox TV is moving the Emmy Awards to January next year due to strikes by writers and actors in the United States. The ceremony was originally slated to be telecast on Sept. 18. According to the LA Times, the January date is contingent on a resolution to disputes between the studios and guilds before then.

KRISTEN BELL, DAX SHEPHERD AND FAMILY KICKED OUT OF BOSTON AIRPORT

Kristen Bell, her husband Dax Sheppard, and their two kids were tossed out of Boston’s Logan International Airport despite having nowhere to go when their flight was significantly delayed Wednesday. The famous family had bought $600 worth of pillows and sheets to create makeshift beds on the floor of the airport after their flight was delayed nine hours and they could find no available hotels within 50 miles. In a social media post, Bell wrote, “Stranded at the Boston airport, 9 hours of delays.” Bell wrote that they decided to hunker down with blankets and neck pillows — planning to stay the night after they learned their flight’s departure was moved to the next day. But after getting themselves all cozy and ready to sleep, the actress said they “were kicked out” with nowhere to go late at night. They eventually found a place to stay with friends of friends, she said, in some beds in their attic.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 15, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Jon Michael Hill (actor, “Elementary”) … 38
Elizabeth Berkley (actress, “CSI: Miami”) … 51
Sally Struthers (actress, “All In The Family”) … 76
Jim Davis (cartoonist, Garfield comic strip creator) … 78

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“The one thing I think I do well – I have a sense of what’s funny, what’s entertaining.”

(A) Will Ferrell
(B) Amy Schumer
(C) Jim Davis (“Garfield” cartoonist)

ANSWER: (C) Jim Davis

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2006 – Actor-director Mel Gibson launched an anti-Semitic tirade as he was arrested in Malibu, Calif., for driving drunk; Gibson later apologized and was sentenced to probation and alcohol treatment.
* Sounds like he’d already been treated with more than enough alcohol.

2002 – Nine coal miners trapped in the flooded Quecreek Mine in Somerset, Pa., were rescued after 77 hours underground.
* Never go down in a mine that has the word “creek” in its name.

1998 – Monica Lewinsky was given blanket immunity from prosecution in exchange for grand jury testimony in the investigation of her relationship with President Clinton.
* What could they have prosecuted her for? Bad taste in men?

1933 – The first singing telegram was delivered.
* It didn’t cause quite the sensation the Strip-O-Gram would later, but hey, you’ve gotta walk before you can run.

1945 – Fourteen people died when a US Army bomber crashed into the 79th-floor of the Empire State Building in New York City.
* Right there we should have known better than to build the World Trade Center.

1914 – “Doublemint” gum was first manufactured.
* They were going to make it “Singlemint,” but then they could only charge half as much.

1866 – The first large-scale American oil well was drilled, in Titusville, Pennsylvania.
* 1500 miles from Texas, but eventually they’d zero in on the oil better.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2014 – Linda Ronstadt was honored with a National Medal of Arts at the White House in Washington, D.C.

2011 – Meatloaf (real name Marvin Lee Aday) passed out onstage at Pittsburgh’s Trib Amphitheater during an apparent asthma attack. After about ten minutes he regained his composure and finished the show.

2008 – Amy Winehouse was rushed to a hospital after she started to have fits at her home in North London. A spokesman said it appeared the singer had suffered a reaction to medication she was taking to help her off hard drugs.

2006 – Prince’s second wife Manuela Testolini Nelson filed for divorce. His first marriage, to dancer Mayte Garcia, took place in 1996 but only lasted two years.

2004 – Justin Timberlake obtained a restraining order against a photographer who allegedly stalked him. A judge in Santa Monica, California, granted the order against photographer Artemus Earl Lister.

1991 – Almost 100 arrests were made after an estimated 2,000 youths rioted after an MC Hammer concert in Penticon, Canada.

1973 – The Watkins Glen outdoor summer jam was held outside of Watkins Glen, New York with The Allman Brothers, The Grateful Dead and The Band. Over 600,000 rock fans attended. Many historians claimed the event was the largest gathering of people in the history of the United States. 150,000 tickets were sold for $10 each, but for all the other people it was a free concert. The crowd was so huge that a large part of the audience was not able to see the stage.

1969 – Police in Moscow reported that thousands of public phone booths had been vandalized after thieves were stealing parts of the phones to convert their acoustic guitars to electric. A feature in a Russian youth magazine had shown details on how to do it.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 15% of men in a recent survey said they would never date a woman who does THIS. What is it?
Root for a rival sports team

2. 52% of women surveyed said they’ve turned down guys for second dates because of THIS. What is it?
Too much cologne

3. When it comes to relationships, 31% of people surveyed said they have done THIS more than once with the same person. What it is?
Broken up with them

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