FRIDAY, July 1 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

NOTE: MORNING SIDEKICK WILL BE OFF ON MONDAY, JULY 4, FOR THE U.S. INDEPENDENCE DAY HOLIDAY. WE WILL RETURN WITH PREP FOR TUESDAY, JULY 5.

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, July 1, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CREATIVE ICE CREAM FLAVORS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Summer is in full swing. Its hot and sizzling. You need something to help cool off. What a perfect time for Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day. Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day gives you the chance to create a new flavor of ice cream. Maybe, your new creation will be a hit, and become wildly popular. Just how many flavors of ice cream are there? Those of you old enough to remember will recall the ’28 Flavors’ of Howard Johnson’s restaurant. Howard Johnson’s actually had far more than 28 flavors. They always had 28 flavors in stock (hopefully) at a time. Those 28 flavors are just the tip of the iceberg. The combinations are seemingly endless. Make today a fun day. Hold a formal or impromptu creative ice cream party. Make sure you have lots of flavors, toppers, and additives, so people at the party can get real crazy (er, creative).”

INTERNATIONAL JOKE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“International Joke Day is a very funny day. It’s a real laugher. There’s plenty of problems, trouble and unhappiness in the world. Don’t’cha think the world would be a far better place if we’d all just chill out a little and laugh a whole lot more!? You never know. If people around the world get into the theme of the day, it just might be the start of something great. Take the opportunity to get the jokes started today. Use the internet to spread funny jokes and stories. Pass them along to everyone on your email list. Hopefully, some of your email ‘buddies’ live outside of the U.S. By sending jokes to them, you’ve helped to get the ball rolling to make this a truly international experience.”

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month
Wild About Wildlife Month

THE BUZZ

WHAT WEIRD SMELLS DO YOU LIKE?

Twitter asked “What’s a weird smell you’re willing to admit you enjoy?” After weeding out the disgusting ones, here are the weird smells that some people enjoy:
– Airport tarmac
– Old books
– Acetone – “reminds me of ‘Super Elastic Bubble Plastic’ and ‘Silly String,’ from childhood”
– Puppy paws
– Cat breath
– A clean bowling alley in the morning.
– A blacktop road after a thundershower on a hot day.
– Fresh unboxed stereo components.
– Lawn clippings.
– A salt marsh
– Skunk
– An outdoor pool
– New car tires, a store full of ’em.
– Bleach with brewing coffee – it smells like a clean kitchen.
– Brand new tennis balls.
* Airport tarmac. And that’s about the only thing to like about airline travel these days.
* Wow. Nobody mentioned crisp new $100 bills.
* Is there really such a thing as a clean bowling alley?
* Name that movie: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” (Apocalypse Now)
* Name that band: “Smells like teen spirit.” (Nirvana)
* Name that band: “That Smell.” (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
* PHONE TOPIC: What weird, unique smell do you like? Keep it clean – no body odors, please.

U.S. NEWS

TURTLE CAUSES THREE CAR CRASH

A turtle caused a three-car crash in Cape May, New Jersey. A driver spotted the turtle crossing Stone Harbor Boulevard, and stopped to let it pass. The car behind that one then slammed into it, and a third car crashed into both of them. All three of the cars were badly damaged, but nobody was injured.
* Ironically, all three cars were towed to the nearby Shell station.
* So human reflexes aren’t much faster than a turtle’s.
* Cape May, New Jersey, or as locals call it, “Tailgate City.”
* Did they at least get the turtle for jaywalking?
* Knock knock. / Who’s there? / Gallapagos. / Gallapagos who? / Gallapagos across the road very slowly.
* On top of everything else, the turtle didn’t have insurance.

AUDIO: CUSSING JUDGE TELLS SPECTATOR TO SHUT UP

A Florida judge has been suspended from the bench for 60 days after calling a defendant an “a–hole” in court and telling him to “shut up.” Seminole County Judge William Culver was hearing another case when an unidentified man wandered into the courtroom ahead of his own case and began muttering to himself while deciding where to sit. Judge Culver asked him to be quiet. When the man didn’t respond, the judge exploded: “I asked you a [f—ing question, a–hole!”] The Florida Judicial Qualifications Commission noted that Judge Culver previously had another testy exchange in January, telling another disruptive defendant that he would be happy to send him to prison for so long that they would name the jail after him. During his time away, Judge Culver was also ordered to complete an anger management course and stress management counseling.
* And they want him to switch to decaf.
* How’d you like to go through that, knowing your case is up next, huh?
* He puts the “mean” in misdemeanor.
* Maybe he’s better suited for one of those syndicated TV judge shows. I’d watch him.
CLIP: The judge yells at an upcoming defendant.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/07-01-CursingJudge(dot)mp3

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

FUNERAL DIRECTORS FIGHT AT CEMETERY

In Sydney, Australia, two funeral directors began fighting when they arrived at the graveyard at the same time. It happened at Rookwood Cemetery on Saturday. Paul Lahood Jr. and John Francis, both with separate funeral companies, arrived at the same time. As they were checking in with the cemetery’s office ahead of leading the funeral processions to their respective graves, the pair began arguing. Mr. Lahood allegedly approached Mr. Francis as he sat in a car and punched him in the face, leaving him with a bleeding lip and nose. Lahood was arrested for assault. Police said the two know each other and have quarreled before.
* They caught him dead to rights.
* Yeah, they could have flipped a coin to decide who goes first, but that’s just not the Australian way.
* Ashes to ashes, dust to dust-up.
* Looks like someone had a bone to pick.
* It’s never too late to make a bad last impression.

AUDIO: SINGAPORE TOILET WATER BEER

There’s a new beer in Singapore, a blond ale made with recycled sewage water. The alcoholic beverage is a collaboration between the country’s national water agency and local craft brewery Brewerkz. First unveiled at a water conference in 2018, NEWBrew went on sale in supermarkets in April. The company says NEWBrew is part of an effort to educate Singaporeans on the importance of sustainable water use and recycling. The water used is made by disinfecting sewage with ultraviolet light and passing the liquid through advanced membranes to remove contaminant particles. How’s the taste? Said Chew Wei Lian, 58, who tried it after hearing about it, “I seriously couldn’t tell this was made of toilet water. It tastes just like beer, and I like beer.”
* Of course, it helps to have four or five other beers before you drink this beer.
* Talk about the circle of life. This is the circle of toilet water.
* So it’s not a light beer, it’s an ultraviolet light beer.
* They run it through a strainer and under a light bulb. Boy, that’s good enough for me!
* I bet the whole country is flush with excitement over this.
* How are they not doing this on the space station?
CLIP: It’s been done. Firesign Theater’s classic “Bear Whiz Beer.”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/BearWhizBeer-FiresignTheater(dot)mp3

TRENDING

DAVE FOLEY SAW A UFO

Comedian Dave Foley, of “Kids In The Hall” and “Newsradio,” says he’s seen a UFO. On Wednesday, Foley tweeted a drawing of an object he and an unnamed friend saw in the sky. The sighting took place in January near Los Angeles, and Foley made the drawing the next day. He said the object was silent and estimated that it was about the size of a Greyhound bus. Some fans wondered if this was a joke, but Foley replied: “This is absolutely not a bit. I know others in entertainment who’ve seen something but will never talk about publicly for fear of being stigmatized. The white lights were on the front of the craft, assuming that it was moving forward and those lights pulsated separately from the body of the craft, which also pulsated. The drawing is what we saw. Full craft, semi-triangular fuselage with 3 lights on the forward face. And it was under intelligent control. Not a fragment of anything else.”

STANLEY CUP ACCIDENTALLY DELIVERED TO COUPLE’S HOME

As you may have heard, the Colorado Avalanche won the Stanley Cup on Sunday. The city of Denver held a parade yesterday, Thursday, to celebrate. One Denver couple, Kit Karbler and his husband Dmitri Rudenko were surprised Tuesday when a large package was delivered to their home in the city’s Hilltop neighborhood. Inside the crate was the actual Stanley Cup trophy. The delivery was meant for Avalanche team captain Gabriel Landeskog, who lives in the neighborhood. His address is similar to the couple’s. The mistake was quickly discovered, although the man who delivered the trophy, the “Keeper of the Cup” Philip Pritchard, allowed Mr. Karbler to lift the trophy just like NHL players do after they win the championship.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

July 4, Monday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 5, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Sunday – Patriot Day
Sept. 22, Thursday – Fall begins, Equinox is 9:04 p.m. EDT

BIRTHDAYS

Liv Tyler (actress, “9-1-1: Lone Star”) … 45
Thomas Sadoski (actor, “Life in Pieces”) … 46
Henry Simmons (actor, “Agents of SHIELD,” “Ravenswood,” “NYPD Blue”) … 52
Pamela Anderson (“actress”, “Baywatch”) … 55
Andre Braugher (actor, “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”) is 60
Dan Ackroyd (actor, “Ghostbusters,” original SNL cast) … 70
Fred Schneider (singer with the B-52s, “Love Shack”) … 71
Deborah Harry (singer with Blondie, “Call Me”) … 77
Jamie Farr (actor, “M*A*S*H”) … 88

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I was a drama queen right from a very young age.”

(A) Donald Trump
(B) Kim Jong Un
(C) Pamela Anderson

ANSWER: (C) Pamela Anderson

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – For the first time, America confirmed more than 50,000 new COVID-19 cases in one day.
2020 – The World Health Organization said the Middle East was at a “critical threshold” with COVID-19 cases numbering over 1 million and 80% of COVID deaths occurring in Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.

2000 – Vermont’s civil unions law, which granted gay couples most of the rights, benefits and responsibilities of marriage, went into effect.
* After all, why shouldn’t gay couples be just as miserable as heterosexual couples?

1980 – “O Canada” was proclaimed the national anthem of Canada.
* Well, it’s certainly appropriate.

1966 – The Medicare federal insurance program went into effect.
* The official start of insanely spiraling health care costs.

1963 – The U.S. Post Office introduced five-digit ZIP codes.
* Previously, they just sort of threw the mail in the general direction of North, South, East or West.

1941 – The first TV commercial was shown, an ad for Bulova watches that cost $9.
* Of course, if they’d had a Super Bowl back then, the price could easily have skyrocketed to $15 or $20.

1881 – Clara Barton founded the Red Cross.
* “Nice name, Clara. Now if only you had a recognizable logo to go with it …”

1862 – Congress established the IRS, and it was President Abraham Lincoln who signed the bill into law, officially creating the IRS.
* And you thought he was shot over that slavery thing.

1847 – The first lick-to-glue postage stamps were introduced.
* “You want me to put my tongue WHERE?”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2009 – The week after his death, Michael Jackson became the first act to sell more than 1 million song downloads in a week.

1970 – Jimi Hendrix had his first recording session, in New York City.

1969 – After a car crash in Scotland, John Lennon received 17 facial stitches, and Yoko Ono got 14.

1956 – Elvis Presley sang “Hound Dog” on NBC-TV’s Steve Allen Show while dressed in a tuxedo and singing to a basset hound. The family-friendly show didn’t want him shaking his legendary pelvis.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. In 1910, there were nearly 20 million of THESE in the United States. Now, it’s estimated there are just over 9 million. What are they?
Horses

2. According to government research, there are only about 670,000 of THESE left the the U.S. What are they?
Outhouses

3. There used to be thousands of these in the U.S. Now there are fewer than 200. What are they?
One-hour photo shops

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