FRIDAY, Apr 7 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, April 7, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

COFFEE CAKE DAY

INTERNATIONAL BEAVER DAY

INTERNATIONAL SNAILPAPERS DAY (Newspapers)

METRIC SYSTEM DAY

NATIONAL BEER DAY
The Punchbowl website says this:
“Today is National Beer Day! People have been brewing beer ever since they began cultivating domesticated grains 8,000 years ago. Beer has been an important part of human culture ever since. Today, beer is the third most popular beverage in the world behind water and tea. So why is National Beer Day celebrated on April 7th? On this day in 1933, President Franklin Roosevelt took the first step toward ending Prohibition and signed a law that allowed people to brew and sell beer as long as it remained below 4.0% alcohol by volume (ABV). Despite the low ABV, Americans were thrilled to be able to purchase beer for the first time in thirteen years.”

NO HOUSEWORK DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“No Housework Day is your chance to do anything, except housework. Better still, have someone else do the chores for a day. Housework is a daily, seemingly endless and repetitive groups of tasks. It often goes unrecognized and worst of all….. taken for granted. But, watch out! If the dishes aren’t done, or there’s no clean towels, somebody notices.
There’s two ways to celebrate this day:
If you normally do the housework around the house, cease and desist for this day. Instead, kick back and enjoy the day. Relax and do anything, except housework.
If you are a spouse or significant other, do the housework for your mate. It gives her (or him) a break from the housework. And, you just might get an appreciation of how much work it takes to keep up the house.”

WORLD HEALTH DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Sponsored by United Nation’s World Health Organization (WHO), World Health Day focuses upon a different health theme each year. It is an international event to emphasize and work on important health issues or problems. Many countries around the world participate. Major activities on world health Day focus upon, awareness, education programs, and fund raising activities to help with the health issue for the year. Countries also work on resolving problems related to the theme.”

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

THE BUZZGETTING INTO TROUBLE AT SCHOOL

A Twitter user asked: “What’s the dumbest thing you got in trouble at school for?” Some of the responses:
– “I used to bring in my extra erasers and pencils and sell them for a quarter each in elementary school.”
– “Reading ahead. We were assigned a book I had already read so I would rip through the quizzes. The teacher apparently meant to use them to trick the class. When she figured out I always knew the answers she accused me of cheating.”
– “Standing in a puddle on one leg pretending to be a flamingo. Got detention after school.” (* Well, yeah. You could put somebody’s eye out. Posing like a flamingo.)
– “I got in trouble for wearing excessive makeup… while walking from the bathroom where I put it on to the theater classroom where I had to deliver a performance piece for a final grade in costume and makeup, as required by the assignment.”
– “Telling a teacher how to properly pronounce my name.”
– “On my first day of school in the U.S. I got detention for not saying the pledge of allegiance, because I didn’t know what it was and I was genuinely terrified when everyone started saying it.”
– “I asked another teacher to help me understand an algebra problem once, and the algebra teacher that couldn’t explain it got mad and gave me a full day of detention.”
– “I was once thrown out of my first class at a new school, with no explanation given. Turns out the teacher had thought my posh accent was being faked to make fun of him!
– “Saying I was my correct age and the teacher told me to stop lying because she thought I was someone else.”
– “Our teacher screamed at our whole class saying we were acting like animals and I asked which animal.”
* Guess what, kids? Life isn’t fair. Lesson learned.
* Sounds like every one of these people went to the School of Hard Knocks.
* How old are these stories? ‘Cause getting in trouble at school these days has gone WAY past this kind of stuff.
* More reasons to stick with remote learning.
* PHONE TOPIC: What dumb thing did you get into trouble for in school?

U.S. NEWS

FBI TRAINING EXERCISE HITS WRONG HOTEL ROOM

FBI agents in Boston on Tuesday night were conducting a training operation and a mock interrogation. The plan was to surprise and interrogate a suspect in a hotel room. So, on the 15th floor of the Revere Hotel, at 3 in the morning, agents managed to go to the wrong hotel room. Agents woke up a sleeping Delta airline pilot who had no idea what was going on. They barged in, handcuffed him, interrogated him for 45 minutes and put him in the shower before realizing their mistake. The agents apologized and left.
* They could at least have picked up the guy’s minibar tab.
* “If you mention this to anyone, your next visit will be from the IRS.”
* The pilot’s thinking, “So they finally got me for turning on the plane’s air conditioner that one time while sitting on the tarmac.”
* For the FBI, it’s back to the role-playing exercises in the cafeteria.
* Meanwhile, the guy they were supposed to interrogate had a great night’s sleep, and room service for breakfast. Four stars, would highly recommend.
CLIP: The housekeeping scene from “Tommy Boy.”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/TommyBoy-HousekeepingLetMeSleep(dot)mp3

AUDIO: OHIO SCHOOL BUS DRIVER RANT

Support is growing for an Amherst, Ohio school bus driver who went on a rant with a busload of high schoolers. The longtime driver, Jackie Miller, resigned after the March 30 outburst, which was caught on camera and went viral. Miller said a core group of students began acting out “the minute” they boarded the bus, with one of them spraying perfume that gave her a “horrible asthma attack.” She stopped the bus, grabbed her inhaler and had the kids open up all the windows. The incident sent her over the edge, and she went on a tear, stomping up and down the aisle while cursing and berating students. In the end, Miller resigned her job, students were disciplined, and her signature line: “My foot’s going to be so far up your [bleeping] ass it’s going to dangle out your nose,” became the inspiration for a line of T-shirts, sweaters and hoodies, with $5 of each sale going to the now-jobless driver. Plus, A GoFundMe was set up and has raised over $60,000. Miller told the local news, “I’m sorry for the way this went down, I truly am. I do apologize for my actions, but I won’t take it back.”
* Snowflakes were torched.
* She yelled “I’m done with this (bleep)!” and she was right!
* She’s got a second career as an army drill sergeant if she wants it.
* For an asthmatic she’s got a great set of lungs.
* For a moment there, the yellow school bus blushed red.
* Hey, if I flip out at someone, can I get 60 grand from a GoFundMe page?
CLIP: Some of the rant, edited for time and language
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/BusDriverRant(dot)mp3

NEW STARBUCKS DRINK GIVES PEOPLE THE RUNS

Starbucks unveiled some new coffee drinks back in February in limited markets. Called the “Oleato” line, the drinks are infused with extra virgin olive oil. Some people like them. But then… some who have tried the drinks have taken to social media to say they cause, er, stomach issues. Some comments from a Reddit thread:
– “Caffeine is a stimulant for your bowels and oil a relaxant. So, yeah wonderful idea by Starbucks.”
– “Half our team tried it yesterday and a few ended up needing to use the restroom, if ya know what I mean.. I’m honestly scared to try it because I already have stomach/bowel problems.”
– “I’ve tried them, and just felt sick to my stomach, I had no appetite at all after that and that was the only thing i’ve had in the whole day.”
– “The Oleato at Starbucks is a legit laxative.”
* Isn’t this the place that doesn’t like you using their bathrooms?
* It’s like a weird psychological game: we make you feel bad, but you always come back for more. That’s Starbucks!
* In this case, you come back after getting about 10 feet down the street, and you come back running, right into the bathroom.
* How about with every Oleato, you get a free pod of laundry detergent?
* They should have started a little slower, maybe a Prune Caffé Latte or Milk of Magnesiacino.
* New slogan – Starbucks: We really get you going!

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

TEEN SWALLOWS PHONE DURING FIGHT WITH HER BROTHER

An 18-year-old girl in Madhya Pradesh, India had to undergo emergency surgery after swallowing her cell phone during a fight with her brother. The two were arguing over the small Chinese-made device when the incensed teen decided to end their spat by swallowing it. Shortly thereafter, she began experiencing severe abdominal pain and persistent vomiting. She was rushed to a hospital where they determined that surgery was the only way to retrieve the device. It was a two-hour operation. The teen is reportedly in stable condition and expected to be discharged from the hospital soon.
* “Call 911!” “Press your stomach, dummy.”
* The persistent vomiting may have been because it was set to vibrate.
* I sometimes have to surgically remove the phone from my kid, but not like this.
* Surgeon: “I’m having trouble locating it. Someone dial the number.”
* She’s just lucky they weren’t arguing over, like, a flashlight or a waffle iron.

PLATYPUS ON A TRAIN

An Australian man is in trouble for taking a platypus on a train. The 26-year-old man, accompanied by a woman, was spotted on a suburban Brisbane train with a wild platypus swaddled in a towel. Security camera footage showed the man in flip-flops strolling along a train platform while cradling the platypus – about the size of a kitten – under his arm. He and his female companion then wrapped it in a towel, and showed it to fellow commuters. When later questioned, the man said he had released it into the Caboolture River, but wildlife officials were searching for it to make sure it is okay. Under Queensland’s conservation laws, it is illegal to take a platypus from the wild. Platypuses are native to Australia’s freshwater rivers. The male platypus has venomous spurs.
* Well of course it does, because if it’s an animal that lives in Australia, one way or another it’s deadly.
* Look at me, I’m David Attenborough, like I know all about platypuses.
* Are they sure it wasn’t just a really ugly baby?
* You can’t take a platypus on a train. They prefer Uber.
* This guy gets nailed, yet the Crocodile Hunter used to walk around with kangaroos and Tasmanian devils in his pocket, and he was a national hero.

TRENDING

KANYE WEST’S PRIVATE SCHOOL WAS CRAZY

Kanye West’s private Christian prep school, which abruptly closed down in October 2022, is being sued by two former teachers, claiming the school violated numerous health and safety standards and employs bizarre rules. The teachers at the Donda Academy in California’s Simi Valley allege they were fired after complaining that the school doors were locked from the outside, with kids forced to remain indoors all day, creating a fire hazard. They claim medications were stored haphazardly, there was no school nurse on site, and janitorial services were forbidden because “Kanye did not believe in cleaning products containing chemicals,” the lawsuit states. Other allegations in the lawsuit:
– There were no tables or chairs and students were instructed to sit on the floor to eat sushi for lunch every day. No forks or other utensils were allowed.
– Crossword puzzles and jewelry were banned.
– Artwork was not allowed to be hung on walls. Nothing of color was allowed on the walls.
– Students had to wear all black and dress only in Ye issued or designed apparel.
– Students were barred from the second floor because West “was afraid of stairs.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Ben McKee (bassist w Imagine Dragons) … 38
Kevin Alejandro (actor, “Lucifer”, “Arrow”) … 47
Russell Crowe (actor) … 59
Jackie Chan (actor) … 69
John Oates (singer/musician, Hall and Oates) … 75
Francis Ford Coppola (film director) … 85

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m not one of those fellows that is just going to have a pseudo-middling relationship.”

(A) John Mayer
(B) Leonardo DiCaprio
(C) Russell Crowe

ANSWER: (C) Russell Crowe

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1978 – US President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to develop the “neutron bomb,” which would kill people but leave buildings intact.
* Clearly, he was in the pocket of the real estate industry.

1969 – The Supreme Court unanimously struck down laws prohibiting private possession of obscene material.
* Unanimously! Horny bastards!

1966 – The United States recovered a hydrogen bomb it had lost off the coast of Spain.
* Not the kind of thing you want washing up on the beach.

1959 – The world’s first nuclear-generated electricity was produced at the Los Alamos National Laboratories. Atomic Power Commissioner Dixie Lee Ray announced that nuclear power would be “too cheap to meter.”
* Let’s rephrase that: “Disposing of eternally lethal nuclear waste will be too expensive to estimate.”

1959 – For the first time ever, scientists at Stanford in California bounced radar off the sun.
* This was the first time it worked, ’cause all the other attempts were at night.

1943 – Swiss chemist Dr. Albert Hoffman produced the world’s first batch of LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide).
* He called a press conference and announced “The electric stained-glass pinball machines are melting!”

1927 – Employees at Bell Laboratories in New York City demonstrated the first television transmission. A handful of viewers saw and heard Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover.
* He did a little skit with a ventriloquist’s dummy – it was very corny and they never asked him back.

1831 – The first box of matches was sold.
* They took off like … well, like a house on fire.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – The original manuscript of Don McLean’s American Pie sold for $1.2m at a New York auction. The 16-page draft had been expected to fetch as much as $1.5m at the Christie’s sale. McLean said writing the song was “a mystical trip into his past.”

2001 – Paul McCartney bought the four-bedroom Beverly Hills home of Courtney Love for $3.9 million. The gated 1930s house has its own pool and 1.5 acres of land.

1998 – George Michael was arrested in a public restroom in Beverly Hills for lewd conduct. He was sentenced to community service for the incident.

1998 – Country singer Tammy Wynette died at age 55. She scored 12 hit singles including “Stand By Your Man” and sold over 30 million records world-wide; married five times and once filed for bankruptcy.

1994 – Courtney Love was arrested on drugs and theft charges after a reported overdose. Love was unaware that her husband Kurt Cobain was dead at their home.

1994 – Percy Sledge pleaded guilty to tax evasion. The soul singer was given five years’ probation and ordered to pay more than $95,000 in back taxes. He also received a sentence of six months in a halfway house and was ordered to participate in a substance-abuse program.

1990 – Bonnie Raitt started a three-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Nick Of Time.”

1990 – Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee was injured when performing a stunt during a concert, falling 20 feet from a lighting rig.

1988 – During a European tour, Alice Cooper accidentally hung himself in a rehearsal when a safety rope snapped. He dangled for several seconds before a roadie saved him.

1985 – Wham! became the first western pop group to perform live in China, when they played at the workers gymnasium in Beijing.

1984 – A record 40 British acts appeared on the US Top 100 singles chart, with Culture Club, Duran Duran, Thompson Twins, Eurythmics, Phil Collins, Paul McCartney and Yes all having current hits.

1981 – Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band kicked off their first full-scale tour in Hamburg, Germany. This was Springsteen’s first tour outside North America, which would take in 10 countries.

1979 – The Doobie Brothers went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Minute By Minute,” the group’s only U.S. chart topper.

1973 – Diana Ross started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Lady Sings The Blues.”

1962 – Mick Jagger and Keith Richards met Brian Jones for the first time at a jazz club in England. Jones was calling himself Elmo Lewis and was playing guitar with Paul Jones.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. The average person will buy 9 of THESE a year. What are they?
Pairs of socks

2. If you’re an average American, you’ll buy THIS 8 times in your life. What is it?
A car

3. In a typical year, Americans buy roughly 900,000 tons of THIS. What is it?
Charcoal briquettes

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