FOOD CRITIC SLAMS STARBUCKS’ NEW EVENING MENU

Last Wednesday, Starbucks unveiled a new campaign to get you to spend money there in the evenings, when people typically don’t want caffeine-loaded coffee. The campaign, being rolled out initially at 70 locations nationwide, is called “Starbucks Evenings,” and features a menu of “savory small plates” and “a thoughtful selection of wine and craft beer” offered between 4 and 9 p.m. New York Post reporter Lindsay Putnam had this to say of her experience with “Starbucks Evenings”:
– Ten wines are available, ranging in price from $8 to $15, along with several beers.
– The “savory small plates,” – including artichoke-and-goat-cheese flatbread and truffle-oil mac ’n’ cheese – sat “sadly” inside the counter case where you usually find scones and pound cake. No one at the location was ordering from the new menu, except a group later identified as Starbucks investors.
– As she began to order, the visibly flustered barista behind the register interrupted to ask “Sorry, can you slow down? I’m still getting used to finding these new buttons.”
– She sat down, and after 18 minutes, her $10 glass of pinot grigio finally arrived. It was difficult to appreciate through the heavy coffee aroma saturating the restaurant.
– A few minutes later, the food arrived. The reporter didn’t find a single piece of chicken sausage on her $6.95 chicken sausage and mushroom flatbread. The $4.95 chicken skewers turned out to be two chicken nuggets on a stick. The chicken was so rubbery and unpalatable, she assumed they were frozen and reheated, which a barista later confirmed, saying “Yes, everything is frozen and reheated in the oven.” She took a chance with another bar-food staple: $5.95 spinach-and-artichoke dip. “The crust was overcooked, and in some places actually burnt, and wasn’t helped at all by a pile of borderline-stale pita chips that came with it.”
Her two-word headline review: “Totally disgusting.”
* You have been warned.
* It sounds like with the “savory small plates,” the plates might be the savory part.
* Thanks though. This gives us a whole new reason to make fun of Starbucks.
* Starbucks isn’t worried. They’re just biding their time till they start selling weed.
* Oh, you don’t think that’s coming?
* Heck, they sell coffee from Colombia. Why not throw in some drugs too?
* In happier Starbucks news: the pumpkin spice lattes will be made with actual pumpkin this year so that’s progress.