FLORIDA MAN DANCES ON TOP OF POLICE CRUISER

A Florida man was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace after he was caught dancing atop a sheriff’s deputy’s cruiser. Lee County deputies said Christian Radecki danced on the roof of the SUV for more than six minutes before sliding down the windshield and ripping off the wipers. When asked why he danced on the cruiser, he said he had been threatened by vampires.
* As long as he’s dancing on the police cruiser in the daytime, he’s safe. Vampires only come out at night.
* Ladies and gentlemen… THIS… is “Dancing With the Cars”!
* I’d guess flakka, except that he had his clothes on.
* It makes sense. When vampires are chasing you, everyone knows that dancing will ward them off.
* Then when the zombies show up you’re supposed to break into an opera.
* And of course you grab the windshield wipers. Otherwise the witches could show up.
* What an incomplete story. They forgot to mention what he was wasted on.