FIRE STATION BURNS TO THE GROUND

A massively ironic fire has destroyed the fire station in the community of Portland, Ontario in Canada. The fire broke out Tuesday afternoon. Witnesses reported hearing loud bangs before the volunteer fire department building went up in flames, and said the building was completely engulfed. The volunteer service’s fire trucks were also inside the garage when the fire broke out and were destroyed.
* Where were the firefighters? Last-minute Christmas shopping?
* “Call 911!” “But WE’RE 911!” “Crap!”
* Maybe someone slid down the fire pole in a wool sweater and fired off a massive bolt of static electricity.
* Anyone know any volunteer bricklayers to rebuild the volunteer fire station?
* Just make sure everybody in Portland, Ontario is real, real careful with matches and stuff for the next couple months.