EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SUPER TUESDAY

Here’s everything you need to know about Super Tuesday:
1. When is Super Tuesday? ANSWER: This year, they’re going to have it on a Tuesday.
2. Why do they call it Super Tuesday? ANSWER: Because Taco Tuesday was already taken.
3. Will Super Tuesday actually be super? ANSWER: You’ve seen the candidates, right?
4. Which states participate? ANSWER: Alabama, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, and Vermont. And, surprisingly, American Samoa, except because of the international date line, Super Tuesday there was actually last Wednesday.
5. What if I voted for Klobuchar, Buttigiege, or that other guy I can’t remember before they dropped out of the race? ANSWER: Then your vote automatically goes to America’s Sweetheart Gwen Stefani’s team on The Voice.
6. Why can’t I remember the name of that guy who dropped out? ANSWER: Doesn’t matter now, does it?
7. When will we know the results? ANSWER: At the end of the night, and then again eight weeks later after the results are challenged in the court system.
8. After Super Tuesday, what happens on Wednesday? ANSWER: Buyer’s Remorse.