DUTCH MAN CAN’T LEGALLY LOWER HIS AGE

A Dutch court has rejected the request of a man to shave 20 years off his age. Last month Emile Ratelband asked the court in Arnhem to formally change his date of birth to legally make him 49-years-old. He said his true age – 69 – did not reflect his emotional state and it was causing him to struggle to find work and love. He argued that since people now have the right to change their gender, he should be able to change his age. In a written ruling on Monday, the court said: “Mr. Ratelband is at liberty to feel 20 years younger than his real age and to act accordingly. But amending his date of birth would cause 20 years of records to vanish from the register of births, deaths, marriages and registered partnerships. This would have a variety of undesirable legal and societal implications.”
* So it’s a paperwork problem.
* The court did agree, however, to allow him to continue to be an attention whore.
* Time for Plan B: Fake your own death and create a new identity.
* You don’t need to change your age to get the hot babes. Just become rich.
* Dude – you’re turning 70. You won’t have this “being old” problem much longer.