DUMB HEADLINES
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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
GUCCI MANE KIDNAPPED BY POOH SHIESTY
Headline doesn’t make any sense to us, either.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
JEOPARDY! LET’S RUN IT INTO THE GROUND!
I’ll take Oversaturation for a thousand, Ken.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Wife says, “You need to do more chores around the house.”
He husband says, “Can we change the subject?”
Wife says, “Alright. More chores around the house need to be done by you.”
Why did the Easter egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken.
Guy goes to the doctor.
He says, I was bitten by a wolf.”
Doctors asks, “Where?”
Guy says, “No, just a regular wolf.”
Did you hear about the yardstick company?
They’re not making them any longer.
Jetliner is taxiing out to the runway, suddenly it turns around back to the gate.
They sit at the gate for two hours, then they finally take off. A passenger asks the attendant, “What was the problem?
Attendant says, “The pilot was bothered by a strange noise in the engine, and it took two hours to find a different pilot.”
U.S. NEWS
96 BANANAS STOLEN FROM WAWA
Approximately.
ALLIGATOR ON THE CAR ROOF
Hey, somebody left a perfectly good alligator by the side of the road!
POLICE APOLOGIZE FOR NAMING WRONG MAN AS FECES SMEARER
Gee, sorry about that and all.
SLINGSHOT VANDALS ARRESTED
Somebody’s asses are in a sling.
AUDIO: “JESSICA” STOPS BABY TANTRUMS
It really works!
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
RUSSIAN WANTS SOVEREIGN TERRITORY ON THE MOON
Just what the moon needs: assholes.
AUDIO: WOMAN GIVES BIRTH AT HOCKEY GAME
Power move.
CRUISE PASSENGERS MAROONED ON “CAST AWAY” ISLAND
Wouldn’t it be ironic if the captain’s name was Wilson?
RAPUNZEL ATTACKED BY CROWS
Disneyland is for the birds.
THIEVES STEALING OUTHOUSES IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
We’re not privy to the details.
WORLD’S OLDEST CRITTER DIES AT 193
At least this year we eat.
32 ARRESTED IN MOUNT EVEREST SCAM
Peak fraud.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
The Birds 2
They Should Be Arrested
Death By Coffee
Pick A Winner
I Have A Question
Ooo, Tough Birthmark, Buddy
THE BUZZ
HOW DID YOU GET YOUR NAME?
As if your parents gave it a lot of thought.
THE COST OF RAISING A BABY
What a racket.
WHY CATS NEVER FINISH THEIR FOOD
Because they hate you?
HEALTHY HABITS
Good health’ll kill ya.
HOW TO STOP SEAGULLS FROM GRABBING YOUR FOOD
Googly eyes.
MY WEIRD RULE
People are strange.
DUMB HEADLINES
Read. Discuss. Have listeners vote for the dumbest.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
YOU, ME AND TUSCANY
Starts Friday, April 10 in theaters.
HUNTING MATTHEW NICHOLS
Starts Friday, April 10 in theaters.
THE SUPER MARIO GALAXY MOVIE
Starts Friday, April 3 in theaters.
THE DRAMA
Starts Friday, April 3 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
TACHYON TAX
Faster than TurboTax!
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Tax Time
Al and Mike try to have fun with your refund.
RED PLOPSTER SHRIMP MONTH
This is it, baby.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, April 3.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – April Fools
Al and Mike are fools no matter what month it is.
ONE MINUTE OPTICAL
Why wait a whole hour for glasses?
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Dollar Days
Big Al’s calling his sale Dollar Days, even though he has no cents.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 20.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
SONG: MY FAVORITE SPRING BREAK
These are what kids do on break in the spring.
A & M AUTOLAND – Suggestion Box
Big Al and Big Mike are asking for feedback – and boy are they going to get it.
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