DOCTOR SUSPENDED FOR ADDING CAT SALIVA TO VACCINATIONS
Illinois regulators have suspended the license of a suburban Chicago doctor who allegedly gave patients modified vaccinations containing cat saliva and vodka. Dr. Ming Te Lin told investigators he’s been preparing alternative vaccinations for children at his office in Flossmoor, Illinois, for more than a decade. He said he adds alcohol and sometimes cat saliva gathered with a swab from a cat’s mouth for patients with allergies. None of Lin’s methods is approved by the Food and Drug Administration.
* Not even the cat saliva part?
* “Hey, Doc – can I have a shot of vodka before you give me that shot of vodka?”
* Wait – injecting cat saliva. Isn’t that the Catwoman origin story?
* The hard part is getting the cats to drink the vodka.
* And how much vodka did Dr. Lin have before he thought of this?
* Well how else are you going to inoculate someone against … Cat Scratch Fever!! (see clip below)
* The worst side effect? You’re going to start peeing on the furniture.
* To be fair, Lin’s methods might be approved by the Food and Drug Administration of say, Pluto.
* Listen, Doc, coming up with dangerous vaccinations is Big Pharma’s job.
* Not that these ideas don’t sound terrific.
* Now they’re serving a new vodka drink in Chicago called the Ming Te Lin.
* Hey, it’s better than a Cat Saliva on the rocks.
* Just because you’re a doctor doesn’t mean you can doctor the vaccinations.
* CLIP: The intro of “Cat Scratch Fever”.
