DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE LINCOLN CHAFFEE: SWITCH TO METRIC SYSTEM

Lincoln Chafee launched his Democratic presidential bid on a platform of what he called “bold” ideas. His boldest idea: America should switch to the metric system. Chafee, a former Rhode Island governor, feels the move would make America more “internationalist as a country.” “Let’s be bold – let’s join the rest of the world and go metric,” he said. He says that it would be a “symbolic integration” meant to show goodwill to the world.
* And, it would be seen by the world as an apology for the Duggars.
* Yikes! Hillary Clinton’s campaign just went to Defcon One!
* Whatever. As long as he keeps his hands off the Dewey Decimal System.
* I guess this is what passes for “bold” in Rhode Island.
* Thanks for your ideas, Lincoln. Have you given much thought to what you’ll do after politics?
* This will show goodwill to the world? Who’s he kidding with that?
* I can just hear ISIS now: “Stop the attacks. We don’t hate the Americans anymore. They’ve adopted the metric system!”
* I think Lincoln’s idea misses by a mile. Or should I say 1.6 kilometers?
* Now his campaign already has one foot in the grave. I mean, 30.48 centimeters.
* I can just hear NFL Commissioner Goodell: “Throw out the record books. We’re going to switch the field to 100 meters.”
* Oh, my God, is it ever going to be a long 17 months.