COFFEE-LOVING PARROT CAUSES ACCIDENT

Police in Uniontown, Pennsylvania, say a woman blames her coffee-drinking pet parrot for distracting her moments before she crashed her car into a guardrail. The 35-year-old woman was driving Tuesday afternoon when she noticed the bird pecking at the lid of her coffee cup. The woman says she struck the guardrail when she glanced down to see what the bird was doing. The woman told police that the bird likes to drink coffee. Police say the woman broke her arm and had facial cuts because her air bag deployed. The bird was safely removed from the vehicle.
* Notice how with some people, it’s everyone else’s fault but theirs?
* Whose decision was it to go out for a drive with a loose bird in the car?
* Why was she driving with her parrot in the car? Because it was the ferret’s turn the day before.
* She likes to take the parrot to the park, tie a string on it’s leg, and pretend it’s a kite.
* “Polly wants an espresso.” You don’t hear that every day.
* A parrot drinking coffee. Good luck getting THOSE stains out of the car upholstery.
* What happened to just wanting a cracker?
* Okay, we’ve gone this far with the bird. How did it do in the accident?
* I’m picturing a technicolor stain on the windshield.