CHEESECAKE M&M'S

M&M’s has introduced a new flavor for Valentine’s Day. White Cheesecake-flavored M&M’s are now available exclusively at Walmart. The candies come in light pink, cream and white colors, filled with “cheesecake flavoring” (* whatever that is) rather than chocolate.
* Barf bag sold separately.
* What has Walmart done to upset the M&M’s people?
* I’m surprised they could say “Exclusively at Walmart” with a straight face.
* “Cheesecake flavoring.” I wonder how many different chemicals are involved?
* Translation: “If we’re going to experiment on humans with this cheesecake flavoring, let’s just do it with people who shop at Walmart. They’re the most expendable.”
* Yes, nothing says “You’ll get laid this Valentine’s Day” like a bag of cheesecake-flavored M&M’s from Walmart.
* Maybe if you’re dating Mama June from “Honey Boo Boo.”
* See what you’ve done, Oreo’s? See what you’ve done? I hope you’re happy.
* There’s a whole new level of consumer products now. It’s called “Sure, I’ll try one.” Somebody – usually grandma – buys a whole bag of something because “I wanted to try one.” Then it gets tossed.
* In politics, this is known as “Betraying your core constituency.”
* Sure, go ahead and make fun of them, but you know you’d try some if you had a chance.
* They would have to do this right when the New Year’s Resolutions kick in.
* New flavors of M&M’s. It looks like it’s going to be a good year after all.
* Finally, I can stop sprinkling M&M’s directly on my cheesecake.