Doctor says, “It’s okay, John, you’ll get through this. Everything’s going to be alright, John, calm down. Don’t worry, John, it just a quick procedure.”
Guy says, “My name’s not John.”
Doctor says, “I know, but mine is.”
Mount Cleverest.
An otter swims up to them and asks “Do you guys have any batteries?”
Men are confused but they go, “No, we don’t have any batteries.”
Otter swims away but comes back after a while.
One man says, “Go away! We already told you we don’t have batteries and your splashing scares the fish away.”
Otter says, “But I brought you batteries!”
Ketchup with you later.
To get another degree.
People are lining up for blocks.
He’d been sleep wokking.
Someone from the other end of the bar shouts, “Hey! I resent that!”
Man says, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”
“No! I’m a jerk!”
A Genie appears and says “I can grant you three wishes, what is your first wish”. The Stoner says “I wish me and you could smoke nice fat joint.” A beautiful joint appears and they both smoke it. After they finish, the Genie asks “OK, what about wish number 2?” The Stoner says, “How about we smoke another joint?” Another doobie magically appears and they both smoke it. The Genie then asks “What do you want for your third and final wish?” The Stoner says, “Let’s have another joint together.” Which they do. When they’re done, the Genie disappears back into the lantern. Five minutes later, the Genie pops out of the lantern and says, “So, what do you want to do about this fourth wish?”