CARJACKER CAN'T FIGURE OUT STICK SHIFT

Wednesday evening in Old Colorado City, a neighborhood in Colorado Springs, Colorado, 35-year-old Andrew Lazcano threatened a truck driver with a gun and tried to steal the vehicle. Police say Lazcano tried to start the truck, and tried again, but just couldn’t get it moving because he couldn’t figure out the stick shift. He eventually bolted, but police spotted him later that night at a nearby shopping center.
* Maybe his cellmate will show him how to drive a stick.
* Hitchhiking wasn’t enough. He had to go for the whole truck.
* Now his cellmate’s going to take HIM for a joyride.
* Sounds like he won’t be ‘Colorado-sprung’ from Colorado Springs prison anytime soon.
* Look: if you’re going to be a carjacker, or compete on The Amazing Race, you have to know how to drive stick.
* I sympathize with the guy. Every time I try to turn on my car radio, my seat warmer goes off.
* Sorry, but you don’t get a reduced sentence for being a dumb ass.
* Pulling that gun alone will probably add 10 years to this.
* Unless you were Hillary. Then maybe you could get by with a harsh rebuke.
* It would be bad enough just getting a rebuke, but a harsh rebuke? That’s brutal.
* Nice work hanging around later at a nearby shopping mall. That way it was really hard to catch you.