CALIFORNIA HEAT CAUSING PUMPKINS TO RIPEN EARLY

Recent high temperatures are causing pumpkins in California to ripen early this year, prompting worries the crop may not last until Halloween. At Bastaio Farms in Sacramento, the early heat brought the crop forward, according to Dennis Bastaio. He says they’ve been orange for two weeks after getting hammered by the sun. The concern is that they won’t last another four weeks until Halloween.
* I have the same concern with all the Halloween candy I just bought. A lot. Of.
* Global warming. First it leaves polar bears stranded on teeny tiny icebergs, and now it ruins Halloween.
* So what are we supposed to do? Move Halloween up a few weeks?
* It would be sad if we had to throw out the whole crop of pumpkins before we could carve faces into them and then throw them all out.
* Is there something else we could carve faces into? Like … really large yams?
* On the other hand the marijuana growers are loving all the sun.
* Have you been following the news in California? Pumpkins that ripen too soon are about the last thing they should be worried about.
* Wait, that wasn’t helpful. Maybe we could give them little tents for shade.
* Relax, the kids are too busy looking at their phones to notice the pumpkins.