BURGLAR STEALS 100 CHOCOLATE BARS

State police in Pleasantville, Pennsylvania, are looking for a burglar who broke into Corky’s Pizza Shop overnight Friday and stole more than 100 chocolate bars and eight chocolate chip cookies. The candy bars were large fundraiser-type bars.
* Sorry, Pleasantville – no chocolate pizzas this week.
* Corky’s Pizza Shop? Sure, who doesn’t love to follow a giant gut-busting sausage and pepperoni pizza with a huge, oversized chocolate bar?
* Just make sure you leave room for the Key Lime Pie.
* Let’s do the math … 100 fundraiser chocolate bars, times suggested retail price, equals … oh, my god: half a million dollars!
* The suspect is described as armed and zitty.
* And wouldn’t it be funny if the guy were trying to unload them by going door-to-door?
* So things were not so pleasant in Pleasantville this week.
* If the thief gets away with this, none of our candy will be safe.
* Hmm, chocolate bars and chocolate chip cookies. I’m sensing a stoner here.
* We need to get this crook off the chocolate bars and behind the gray bars in jail.
* This is why I leave gold bars lying around and keep the chocolate bars in my safe.
* Maybe he’s just looking for a lucky ticket into Willie Wonka’s factory?