BODY WASHES UP ON SHORE WITH "CEMENT SHOES"

Police are trying to identify the body of a man who washed up along a Brooklyn beach wrapped in plastic bags with his arms tied around his back, and his feet in “cement shoes.” The victim had his feet “submerged in poured concrete.” The body washed up from a bay near Kingsborough Community College and was found by a student on Monday. An autopsy was being performed to determine how long he’d been in the water.
* “You’re going to need some bigger cement shoes.”
* Are they sure it was homicide?
* Maybe it was one of those freedivers we heard about yesterday.
* I suspect, oh, let’s see … the Mafia?
* I mean, I’m surprised they didn’t find spaghetti stains on his shirt and a video of “The Godfather” in his pocket.
* This was either meant to be a warning, or the worst job of making a body disappear ever.
* And if it wasn’t the Mafia, they might want to talk with Ted Cruz’s father.
* Let’s not be too quick to judge. It could have been a suicide.
* One bad part was when the student tried to turn the body in for a science project.
* Cement shoes that don’t sink the victim? What’s happened to this country lately?
* Oh well, it’s a nice break from the severed feet stories out of Canada.