BLACK HOLE PHOTOGRAPHED

Astronomers have captured the first image of a black hole, heralding a revolution in our understanding of the universe’s most enigmatic objects. The picture shows a halo of glowing orange dust and gas, tracing the outline of a colossal black hole – 6.5 billion times the mass of our sun – at the heart of the Messier 87 galaxy, 55 million light years from Earth. The black hole itself – a cosmic trapdoor from which neither light nor matter can escape – is unseeable. But the latest observations take astronomers right to its threshold for the first time, illuminating the event horizon beyond which… all known physical laws… collapse.
* Pretty dramatic stuff.
* Then Matthew McConaughey popped out and yelled “I’m BAAAACK!”
* So, they know it’s a black hole because when they look at it, there’s nothing there. Like a Kardashian.
* The nice thing is, there’s still time for it to guest-star on “The Big Bang Theory”.
* It’s 6.5 billion times the mass of our sun – but remember, the camera adds ten pounds.
* The thing looks like a donut. A delicious, glowing orange donut. They should name it Black Hole Winchell’s.