BANK ROBBER WOULD RATHER BE IN JAIL THAN WITH WIFE

A 70-year-old Kansas City, Kansas, man told investigators after robbing a bank that he’d rather be in jail than with his wife. Lawrence Ripple pleaded guilty Monday to a federal bank robbery count. He faces up to 20 years in prison. Last September, Ripple gave a bank teller a note demanding cash and warning he had a gun. Ripple grabbed nearly $3,000, then sat in the lobby and told a guard he was the “guy he was looking for.” Ripple had argued with his wife earlier and told her in writing he’d “rather be in jail than at home.”
* No comment.
* He’s moving from the institution of marriage to another kind of institution almost as bad.
* He does know we have this thing called “divorce”, right?
* I say make the guy have conjugal visits. Just to make him suffer.
* Smart move. And if he serves the whole sentence he’ll only be 90 years old when he gets out.
* So now he gets to be the prison bride.
* He had to cut his comments short because his cellmate wanted to have sex again.
* His wife got in one last shot about his sexual abilities saying, “20 years huh? Finally something he won’t finish too soon.”
* Does he get any points for choosing robbery instead of murder?
* If only there was a beverage Ripple could turn to for escape.
* I don’t know … maybe some kind of cheap wine.