AUDIO: MUMPS OUTBREAK IN WASHINGTON STATE

There is a mumps outbreak in Washington state. Cases have continued to rise, with at least 298 likely or confirmed mumps cases, according to the state health department and the Spokane Regional Health District. There are at least 166 likely cases in King County, where Seattle is located, and 94 cases in Spokane. Approximately two-thirds of those infected were vaccinated, but the mumps vaccine can wane over time. The virus famously can cause swelling of the salivary glands, causing a swollen jaw or face. Other symptoms include fever, headache, muscle aches and tiredness. In rare cases, it can cause swelling of the testes, ovaries, breasts or the brain.
* It makes your testes bigger, but not your penis? That’s just mean.
* If your brain gets bigger, do you get smarter?
* “Likely cases.” That’s when the doctor says, “I’m not sure – you either have the mumps, or just a really weird-shaped face.”
* I think Oregon should pay for a wall to keep Washington staters in.
* There are Friday stories and there are Monday stories. This is a Monday story.
* There’s a chance for a nice rhyming headline here: “Mumps Jumps, Washington State Takes Lumps.”
* Or “Big Bump in Mumps, Washington State Kicked in Rumps.”
* No? Shorter? How about “Mumps Causing Grumps”?
* Officials say they’re worried about the rise in mumps but they’re more worried about this rise of Trump’s.
CLIP: From a long, long time ago just in cast you might want it: our song parody of My Humps, “My Mumps”.