AUDIO: ECLIPSE MAY BRING OUT THE SOUTH CAROLINA LIZARDMEN
The South Carolina Emergency Management Division is warning citizens in several of its counties to be vigilant of paranormal activity associated with the upcoming total solar eclipse. In particular, they are asking citizens to be wary of … Lizardmen. South Carolina has a history of Lizard Man sightings. The first reported sighting of a Lizard Man in the state dates back to the 1980s. Described as a “red-eyed demon,” the creature has crossed paths with other South Carolina residents in the years since. The agency tweeted out a handy map of where Lizardmen have been spotted in the past along with an overlay of the path of the solar eclipse. The agency explains. “SCEMD does not know if Lizardmen become more active during a solar eclipse, but we advise that residents of Lee and Sumter counties should remain ever vigilant.”
* So people in South Carolina are definitely still making moonshine.
* I’ve encountered The Lounge Lizardmen before, at bars, but never just Lizardmen.
* Are you sure we’re not talking Mutant Ninja Turtles here?
* If you see one, don’t move. They can’t see you if you don’t move. I learned that from Jurassic Park.
* To distract them with food, keep your pockets full of crickets and mealworms.
* Okay, that takes care of Lizardmen. Now what about Bigfoot?
* This whole eclipse thing is getting out of hand. They should just cancel it.
CLIP: The X-Files theme.
