AUDIO: 15th HUMAN FOOT WASHED UP ON VANCOUVER SHORELINE
Canadian authorities say they are unable to identify the person whose foot was found last September in a blue sock and a gray Nike sneaker that washed up on the Vancouver shoreline. If you’re keeping count, this is the 15th time in just over a decade that a human foot inside a shoe was discovered on the British Columbia shoreline. More than half of those feet were determined to have belonged to people who either died by accident or committed suicide, while the remaining third remain unidentified. The coroner’s service has determined that the latest foot belonged to a man, but have been unable to match its DNA with any databases. Andy Watson, spokesperson for the coroner’s service, said the agency is turning to the public for help, asking if anyone knows anybody who, you know, has been “walking funny lately.” He insisted that the bizarre trend is not linked to any sort of suspicious circumstance and isn’t “cause for panic.”
* So don’t go running off half-cocked. Or half-footed.
* Any theory they might have just doesn’t stand up.
* Maybe some weirdo is just playing footsie with us.
* The feet are dirty. That’s why they wash up on shore.
* Whoever it is probably put up a good fight, but in the end, they were de-feeted.
* 15 feet! They’re halfway to a first down!
* They must have quite a collection of Nikes by now.
* For a story with no legs, this story sure has legs.
CLIP: Our “Mystery Feet” song.
