ADAM SANDLER TO RECEIVE A CAREER ACHIEVEMENT AWARD, FOR SOME REASON
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Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
NEW PROCESS WILL HELP YOU ACTUALLY SEE, HEAR TV MOVIES
Wow! What will they think of next?
THE MOVIES FOR GROWNUPS AWARDS
a.k.a. The No Sequel Awards.
PUPPY BOWL TO FEATURE OLD DOGS
No new tricks.
TV CREATES NEW TV AWARD FOR TV SHOWS
Coming soon to a TV near you.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
MICKEY ROURKE: IT PAYS TO BE EVICTED
Four movie offers.
CRITICS CHOICE: “ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER”
Enjoy it with one bottle after another.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
At a lake with rental boats, the owner speaks over the loudspeaker:
“Boat number 99, please return to the dock. Your time is up!” A few minutes pass. No boat returns. The owner, louder this time: “Boat number 99, return immediately or you’ll be charged for overtime!” Still nothing. The assistant steps in and says: “Boss… we only have 75 boats. There is no number 99.” After a couple of seconds, the owner grabs the mic again and says: “Boat number 66… everything okay out there?”
What do mummies do on vacation?
They like to unwind.
Did you hear about the big sale at the Lego store?
People are lined up for blocks.
A happy dog and a sad dog had a competition to see who could carry the most weight. Which dog won?
The happy dog, ‘cause his tail was a’wagon.
A drunk man is walking zig-zag on the road.
A police officer stops him and asks, “Where are you going at this time?”
The drunk replies, “I’m going to attend a lecture.”
The police officer says “Who gives lectures at midnight?”
The drunk says, “My wife.”
U.S. NEWS
“JESSICA” IS THE NEW “KAREN”
Let me speak to Karen’s manager.
PENNSYLVANIA GRAVE ROBBER
What a bonehead.
WAYMO SELF-DRIVING CAR DRIVES ON TRAIN TRACKS
Waymo trouble than it’s worth.
FUTURE MERMAID ARRESTED FOR NUDE POND SWIMMING
There’s something fishy about this story.
PILOT OF BLOWN DOOR AIRPLANE SUES BOEING
Stay classy, Boeing.
U.S. GOVERNMENT: DRINK MORE
Here’s to you, Dr. Oz!
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
CLIP: OLYMPIC SKI JUMPERS HAVE THEIR OWN SCANDAL
Living in a material world.
MOUNT ETNA GUIDES PROTEST NEW VOLCANO SAFETY RULES
Stupid safety!
FORTUNE TELLER MAKES PREDICTION COME TRUE
It has been foretold.
THE $3 MILLION TUNA FISH
A fish story.
“SURVIVOR” ISLAND WILL TAKE IN AMERICA’S DEPORTEES
You have been voted off America…. to a better life.
ROMAN PARTY BOATS
Waterskiing is going to cost an extra 50 denarius.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Pull
But, Can Your Really?
Walt, There’s Something Tapping At The Window
Very Funny
Frog Jenga
My Work Here Is Done
THE BUZZ
FUNNY PET NAMES
Woofi Goldberg.
AMERICAN SOCCER NOW MORE POPULAR THAN—- JESUS—- BASEBALL????
I blame the Colorado Rockies.
NEW GADGETS AT THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW, PART 4
Science marches on.
WHICH HOBBIES ATTRACT THE JERKS?
This was supposed to be fun.
DUMB HEADLINES
There will be no shortage of dumbness in 2026.
NEW GADGETS AT THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW, PART 3
The lollipop you can hear through your teeth!
IT WAS A LUXURY ITEM, TODAY IT’S WORTHLESS
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
GREENLAND 2: MIGRATION
Starts Friday, January 9 in theaters.
PRIMATE
Starts Friday, January 9 in theaters.
ANACONDA
Starts Thursday, Christmas Day, December 25.
SONG SUNG BLUE
Starts Christmas Day, Dec 25 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
SNOW DAY CHIP IMPLANT
A snow day? In your dreams!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 9.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Some Assembly Required
Sometimes, it’s a wonder Big Mike doesn’t go to pieces.
THE DITCH
The modern way to stay fit!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Wednesday, December 24.
HEAVER’S WHISKEY
The drink drank by drunken drinkers.
CRECHE CLEAN
Turn your manger from mangy to magnificent.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, December 19.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Holiday Spackle
Mike’s handwriting isn’t the only thing jerky at A & M.
RUDOLF THE RED BULL REINDEER
A heart-worming classic.
SONG: SANTA CLAUSE HAS GOTTEN LESS ROUND
Without Ozempic!
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